Nadakhan vs. Unikitty vs. Pythor vs. Sir Fangar

Pythor and Sir Fangar are once again robbing a Brickmart to help pay for the rent.*

Pythor: Hurry! Only one more Brickmart and we break the record!

Sir Fangar: Have we robbed fifteen glooooorious Brickmarts already?

Pythor: That'sssssss right!

''Pythor runs into the Brickmart. Two minutes later he arrives with half of the store's stock.''

Pythor: Literal ssssshoplifting makessssss robberiessssss a whole lot easier!

Sir Pondar: Do roll down the gloooorious windows...

He does, and they start driving toward the next Brickmart.

Sir Icar: Much better?

Pythor: Wait, you're Ssssir Icccccar now?

Sir Icar: I'm water refrozen into glooooorious ice.

Pythor: No, that'sssss sssstill your Ssssssir Fangar form.

Sir Fangar: Of course... It's gloooooriously hot out there! Must be 80 degrees!

Pythor: Celsssssiussss or Farenheit?

Sir Fangar: How about Kelvin?

Pythor: Gah! The policcccccce are coming!

Sir Fangar: Not this again...

Good Cop: You're under arrest!

Bad Cop: On second thought, you two would look great in Robo-Swat costumes!

Morally Ambiguius Cop: Why am I even here?

Double Agent Cop: And whose side am I really on?!

Pythor: Make up your mind already!

''Pythor summons the Great Devourer, which swallows ??? Cop's squad car, and they drive away.''

*Time Ninja vs. Mantizoid vs. Soul Archer.

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! Today's battle will take place in a Brickmart in Heartlake City!

Pythor: Where did all thossssse productsssssss come from? We jusssssst robbed thissssss placccccce!

Sir Fangar: See those gloooorious plants on the shelves? Products grow from them. That way Brickmart never has to worry about inventory.

Pythor: Gotcha.

Wyldstyle: All right, fighters, to your spots! Nadakhan, your section is the jewelry section. Unikitty, yours is the toy section, Pythor, the electronics, and Sir Fangar, the food section.

Nadakhan: I've got this, matey!

Wyldstyle: No! Don't!

Poof!

Sir Fangar: I HATE the glooooorious girly toys!

Pythor: While I'm here, I might assssss well grab a Brickburger... Nah, they tassssste way better at Axxxxxxle'sssss.

Unikitty: Get me out of this section! I'm not tech-savvy!

Nadakhan: Jeweller, I'll put down one credit for all the jewelry in this store!

Wyldstyle: Well, I guess the fighters have kinda introduced themselves. I'm Wyldstyle, announcing from checkout line 1. Here's Ogel from checkout line 3. Ogel?

Ogel: This match is completely unfair for Unikitty. She's up against the main villain of Chima, the main villain of the 2016 line of Ninjago, and the current main villain of Ninjago overall. I really think that...

Wyldstyle: Zzzzz... thinking... that's a first...

...

Ogel: And that's why I think Unikitty should win.

Wyldstyle: Zzzz- wha? Yeah, that sound's good! Tee-Vee, our primary referee, is in checkout line 2. Tee-Vee, let's get this battle underway!

Tee-Vee: Battle: start.

Unikitty: Nadakhan is going to pay for putting me in the wrong section!

Wyldstyle: As Unikitty is approaching the jewelry section, Sir Fangar is racing for the food section, unaware that Pythor got the Fang Blades for only $5.99 each!

Sir Fangar: WHAT?! Where did those gloooooorious Fang Blades come from?

Pythor: You heard Wyldsssssstyle. Sssssshe'sssss announcing thisssssss match over the intercom.

Sir Fangar: Very smart. Oh, and on the way here, I found this glooooooorious frozen cantaloupe in the produce section. Want to try it?

Pythor: May I passssssss? It will probably taste like Iccccccce Chi.

Sir Fangar: Drat. Well, at least I still have my gloooooorious Saber-Tooth Walker!

Pythor: RISSSSSSE, GREAT DEVOURER!

Great Devourer: Not now.

Pythor: Your massssssster demandssssss it!

Great Devourer: Fiiiiiiiiine...

Wyldstyle: And here comes the Great Devourer! Who knew that he could fit in a can of chili?

Ogel: If the normal LEGO model of him can't fit in a can, then the full-sized one can't either.

Wyldstyle: Calling Amset-Ra! Activate the trap door!

KA-CHUNK!

Ogel: The story of my liiiiiife-

Splat!

Wyldstyle: Now it's time to have some fun, since Amset-Ra isn't technically here... Attention shoppers! Barter one lose two sale on all Rathbone fencing swords!

Pythor: Dibssssssss!

Sir Fangar: No, wait!

Pythor: The more ssssssophisssssticated one of the two of ussssss waitssssss for no one.

Sir Fangar: How can you slither faster than I can glooooooriously run?!

Meanwhile...

Unikitty: Put me in the girls' toys section this instant!

Nadakhan: Hold up a sec, matey. 'Tis all clear, Flintlocke!

Flintlocke: Aye aye, Cap'n!

The Misfortune's Keep soon leaves with all the stores's jewelry.

Nadakhan: All right, matey, yer wish to be put in a girls and boys dungeon and incensed is-

Unikitty: NO! That's not what I said at all!!!

Wyldstyle: From the makers of Angry Birds: Angry Unikitties! The kind that almost manages to destroy genies... except they wish themselves away at the last second.

Nadakhan: I wish for water!

Poof!

Nadakhan: Eh, I'm a bit lazy today. Water, I wish you'd spray Unikitty!

Splash!

Unikitty: It will take more than that to put an end to the living happy dream that is Unikitty!

Nadakhan: Riiiiight...

Pythor: Look out! Rogue Great Devourer coming through!

Nadakhan: Wha-

''Chomp! Gulp!''

...

Poof!

Nadakhan: Hello!

Pythor: Grrrrr... Perform your name, Great Devourer!

Great Devourer: Who are you to command me? I've gone farther then you ever will.

Pythor: Jussssst get them!!!

Great Devourer: Only if you give me the lasssssst cookie.

Pythor: Deal.

Nadakhan: Deal!

Poof!

Mickey Mouse: I'm not a brat!

Pythor: What did you wisssssh for now, Naddy?

Nadakhan: Ye wished for the brat Mickey, am I right?

Pythor: No.

Lunge!

Nadakhan: Lookie here, I've got Skales trapped in a sword. Hungry, G.D.?

Pythor: Noooooo!

Nadakhan: I wasn't talking to you.

Pythor: But that's my Hypnobrai General!

Nadakhan: Exactly, matey. Unless you love cannibalism, I suggest that you surrender.

Wyldstyle: Let's cut to a commercial at an inappropriate time in order to let our readers/guess what happened.

Narrator: You see a Grundalychus, whether in person or on TV, and you start singing "Rudolph, you'll go down in history!" Not anymore!

Dr. Brains: Hello, I'm Dr. Brains. Everyone gets Grundalychus at one time or another. That's that strange urge to sing Christmas carols. That's why I invented Grundal-gone. It's like a psychyatrist in a bottle! Just one sniff, and you'll stop singing Christmas carols, just like that! It only costs $19.99, but wait! If you act now, we'll (here it comes) double your order. Just pay double the shipping, processing, handling, and list price. All this for only all your money $19.95! Call now!

Narrator: Call 1-555-375-1036. Repeat x3. Or go to mygrundalgone.com.

Wyldstyle: We decided not to leave you hanging. Unikitty has dashed off for the toy section, while Nadakhan wished Pythor and the Great Devourer into a jewelry display case. And here comes Sir Fangar on his glooooorious white horse Saber-Tooth Walker.

Intercom: Attention shoppers: there's a -50% off sale on katanas.

Nadakhan is stampeded on.

Shoppers: WE WANT A NEGATIVE-DISCOUNT KATANA!

Sir Fangar: Give up, Nadakhan!

Patrick Henry: Give me liberty, or give me death!

Nadakhan: Don't worry, shoppers, you'll find your mega discord banana in the produce aisle. Sir Fangar, my name is not Madelyn. Patrick, you'll find your liver and debt at the front door.

Wyldstyle: You wonder sine when we could have minifigures shop in the middle of a battle? Since green pigs could fly.

Sir Fangar: GLOOOOOORIOUS ICE ORB!!!!

Nadakhan: You can go home now, Skales.

Pop!

Skales: Happiessssssss!

Chink!

Sir Fangar: You made me waste my attack on a snake?

Nadakhan: Yes.

Beep!

''CRASH! FLATTEN!''

Nadakhan: Bye, Fangar, matey.

Tee-Vee: Sir Fangar: Eliminated.

Wyldstyle: Apparently the Misfortunes's Keep didn't leave after all, so Nadakhan remotely made it flatten Sir Fangar.

Unikitty: I'm back! Have some plush Tee-Vees!

''SLAP! CRASH!''

Priest of the Tee-Vee: Sacrilege! Those plush toys bear no resemblance to the authentic, benevolent, cherished, divine, excellent, flamboyant, etc. Tee-Vee!

Nadakhan: And now, I have-

Shatter!

Pythor: That glassssssss lasssssst couldn't hold usssssss forever, and besssssidesssss, we had thissssss little thing called breathing that we were concccccccerned about-

Nadakhan: Save your breath, mateys!

Pythor: We were doing that for the lasssssst three minutesssssss! Sssssssic him, Great Devourer!

Nadakhan: Noooooo!

Chomp!

Tee-Vee: Nadakhan: Eliminated.

Unikitty: That nasty priest didn't slap me far, but still, it's not polite to slap a princess!

Pythor: Bon appetit!

Unikitty: Construct!

Pythor: ...Tell me that isn't a rainbow.

Unikitty: It is! Try it!

Great Devourer: Okay...

CZXCZXCZXCZXCZX

Tee-Vee: Winner: Unikitty

Wyldstyle: Well that was a complete turnaround! After the Great Devourer bit Unikitty's electric rainbow, he was fried to bits, along with Pythor! Who wants a barbecue?

Shoppers: ME!!!!

Mickey Mouse: Hot dog!

Patrick Henry: This beats liver and debt any day!

Intercom: Attention shoppers: 110% discount on angler fish in the electronic section.

Amset-Ra: Ooh! Pharaoh likey!

''He races from the back room and sweeps up Ogel who had just climbed up through the trap door. Soon, there is a distinctive zapping sound.''

In the café...

Nadakhan: What would you like, sir?

Zander Freemaker: I'd like a steak, medium rare, with blue milk.

Nadakhan: Great. Your stake, medium, werewolf, and blue moon will be coming shortly.

Zander: Blast! That's not what I ordered at all!

Amset-Ra: You know what I'm thinking, Wyldstyle.

Wyldstyle: Yup.

Amset-Ra: Nadakhan is now officially on the Pyramid Staff!

Elsewhere...

Sonic: I know what you're up to, Egghead! Come on out!

'A portal appears and sucks him into the Dimensions game.

Amset-Ra: Here's to another pointless ending!

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