User blog:Commandosaur/Martian Madness - Episode 3 - Dodo on Mars

'Starring Aliens! Starring Astronauts! Starring Awesome!'

Guest Starring Dodo!

''' Brought to you by  Last Resort  Awesome Productions! '''

Aliens
In the middle of nowhere on Mars...

Ali: Ouch.

Alice: You can say that again.

Ali: Ouch.

Aloha: I feel like that's already been said before...

Alfred: First I leave the mothership outside and now this... But really, who cares?

Albert: Except for the Queen.

Hyvak: Alright, you drones are taking full responsibility for this. You kidnapped me and then crashed the shuttle and I am in no way responsible.

Ali: I don't remember kidnapping you...

Alec: It was right after he fell asleep, remember?

Ali: No...

WINK WINK WINK

Ali: Oh yeah! I NEARLY forgot! It's a good thing I remembered and didn't just make this up!

Albert: Wait, if we kidnapped you, shouldn't we make it more realistic?

Alice: Yeah, like, knocking you unconscious or something...

Hyvak: Hmm, that would probably be a good idea. Does anyone know how to knock out an Alien Commander?

Alec: We could try using that rock over there.

Ali and Aloha walk over to pick up the rock.

Ali: It's too heavy!

Albert: What if we just buried you under lots of smaller rocks?

Hyvak: But then you'd need to lift all the rocks off of me, and that would take a while.

Albert: Too true...

Astronauts
In the middle of nowhere on Mars...

Nigel: We sure were lucky that meteorite landed on the Meltrox back there.

Bill: It's almost like someone needed a really quick and easy way to get rid of a story idea which he thought might be good but turned out to be useless and a hindrance.

Nigel: Almost.

Okay stop making fun of my story writing skills.

Bill: Oh, did you just hear that whistling? It must be Jeff! Maybe he's found the Crystals!

Jeff: Nope, no crystals. Just more of these strange Red Rocks.

Nigel: Gah! More Meltrox!

Jeff: No, just bland, strange, Martian, Red Rocks.

Nigel: Oh. That was close. We almost needed another convenient meteorite.

I said to stop.

Meanwhile, at the Eagle Command Base...

Commander Roberts: How did you get the Dodo past security?

Petrov: Oh, don't be worrying, it was not wearing the Space Suit at the time.

Commander Roberts: But it's an endangered species! They wouldn't let you carry one around in a suitcase!

Petrov: There are being 2 things wrong with your statement. 1, Dodos are being extinct, not endangered, so there are not being any rules about Dodo transportation. 2, this Dodo flies 1st class.

Commander Roberts: The Dodo had it's own seat?!?!?!?!?!?

Petrov: Yes.

Comander Roberts: On a space shuttle?

Petrov: Yes.

Commander Roberts: So the good people of LEGO City are paying taxes so that Dodo's can fly to space?

Petrov: No, the Dodo can not fly, it is having wings much too small.

Aliens
''At Hive 12... 'For the first time in a while, Commander Hovok's door opens!''

Hovok: Where's Alfred?

Alison: He's away.

Hovok: Oh. Very well. You then, go fetch me an Alien Infiltrator. I have decided to lead a pre-emptive strike on the Astronauts! My name will go down in history as the Great Hovok, Horder of a Thousand Crystals, Helper of Hypogirtis!

Alison: Alien Infiltrator's are in low supply right now.

Hovok: What? Why?

Alison: Some of the drones decided to go on a road trip with Commander Hyvak.

Hovok: That incompetent Commander! I will have his head for this! Alison, fetch me the Mother Ship!

Alison: After the last incident, no one from Hive 12 is allowed to use it anymore.

Hovok: What incident?

Alison: Alfred accidentally left it parked outside, so some Egyptians stole it.

Hovok: Of all the Hives, why must I suffer with this one?

Alison: That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?

Hovok: No, I was seriously asking. But you don't have any useful answers. Tell me when Hyvak gets back.

Hovok returns into his room and closes the door again.

Astronauts
In the middle of nowhere...

Bill: It's a good thing that we've gone three episodes now with our location being known only as the middle of nowhere.

Jeff: If we weren't out here in the middle of nowhere, then there might have been a fourth wall to fall down when you said that.

Nigel: Alright, laddies. We need to find a way outta here, and I can only think of one good way. It will require strength and valour...

Bill: You're not going to say Magic, are you? Because that would be 3 too many times someone has tried to use that excuse.

I will write you out of the story if you keep insulting me.

Nigel: Oh, that must have been Jeff whistling again.

Jeff: I wasn't whistling...

Bill: Hmm, couldn't possibly be a really bad writer trying to threaten one of the characters that he's writing, could it?

I'm warning you.

Meanwhile, at the Eagle Command Base...

Commander Roberts: Petrov, a Dodo doesn't need wings in order to fly!

Petrov: Name one animal that is being the flyer without the wings to support it!

Commander Roberts: Humans!

Petrov: And how do humans fly?

Commander Roberts: They build Airplanes, Petrov. Really, it's elementary!

Petrov: But what is the Airplane having? Wings. And so you see, humans are needing wings in order to fly.

Commander Roberts: Helicopters don't have wings!

Petrov: Helicopters aren't being animals!

James: Umm... Sorry to interrupt, sir, but there appears to be a problem with the Coffee machine...

Petrov: Oh, right, I am being the one who is supposed to fix that. Good bye! Come Dodo!

Dodo: SQUAWK!

Petrov and the Dodo leave the room.

Commander Roberts: James, can a Dodo fly?

James: Umm... If it believes it can fly then it can do anything, right?

Commander Roberts: James, get me the closest living relatives of Dodo's. We're going to show Petrov that Dodo's can fly. I mean, can't fly. I mean, I have no idea what I'm arguing for.

Aliens
In the Republic of Nowheredia on Mars...

Albert: I think back is that way.

Aloha: Back to where?

Albert: Hive 12!

Aloha: Oh. That makes sense.

Alec: Maybe we should call for help.

Hyvak: NO WAY! We must prove that we are strong, independent people!

Alice: We're not people, though.

Ali: And we're definitely not independent.

Alfred: Let's talk about food as we pass the time!

Hyvak: Good idea!

Alfred: What I'd do for a good Hamburger right now...

Aloha: I wonder what an Alfredo-flavoured hamburger would taste like?

Alice: Would you take a hamburger and a bun, and then put some alfredo-sauced pasta in it?

Alec: Add olives and lettuce.

Hyvak: Mmm.. I'm starving... Let's just call for help.

Astronauts
In the Republic of Nowheredia...

Jeff: It's too bad, what happened to Bill.

Nigel: Yeah, we wouldn't want to mention it here by accident.

Jeff: Oh no, that would probably cause the universe to implode, killing everyone forever.

Nigel: But you know, we might have to...

Fine, you win.

''A wild Bill appears! Poof!''

Bill: Hi guys. Look, some crystals!

Jeff: CRYSTAL MINING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 THE END