User blog:NexoByte/Not So Ultra Agents, Part 4: Toxikita's Toxic Meltdown

On a helipad in Astoria...

Toxikita: Retox, why won't this helicopter start?!

Retox: Because, Toxie, I wanted to see if it flew on cream cheese!

Toxikita: I ought to un-hench you for that... Retox, vaccuum out the cream cheese and bring the helicopter fuel!

Retox: Yes, Toxie.

Retox completes the above requests.

Toxikita: Retox, get in, and I'll hold on to the- actually, Retox, I'll fly the helicopter and you hold on to the chain!

Toxikita super-glues Retox' arm to the chain, gets in the helicopter, and takes off.

At the Astor City Research Lab...

Scientist: Thank you! Have a nice day! (sigh) Those people who delivered the Pollutonium are so nice...

''The scientist brings the Pollutonium to the lab. There he sees Curtis Bolt.''

Curtis: Hi, I know I'm not supposed to be here, but I want to let you know that a helicopter will crash through that wall in about thirty seconds. I know this because I already played through the app. Also, what are these chopsticks for?

Scientist: Those aren't chopsticks! Those are analyzing-

CRASH!

Scientist: -lasers!

Curtis: I was wrong, it was nine seconds.

Wyldstyle: And entering the Blue Corner is a toxic hemchman and his not-so-toxic master, Retox and Toxikita!

Toxikita: Why are YOU mentioned first?!

Wyldstyle: I am the minifigure of the week, I predict Toxikita, and FIGHT!!

Toxikita: Get him, Retox!

Retox: (big inhale) Spamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamspamsp-

Boing!

Retox: Look, Toxie, I'm flying!

CRASH!

Wyldstyle: The helicopter automatically ejected Retox into the back of a waiting police car! Retox is out!

Curtis: Excuse me, ma'am, but this is the Astor City Research Lab, not Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid.

Wyldstyle: Wait, I'm not supposed to be here! Hey, who's writing this story, anyway?!

CRASH!

Scientist: No! My fourth wall!

Toxikita grabs a random magnet, attracts the Pollutonium, and flies away.

Curtis: I'm going back to base.

Curtis leaves.

Scientist: I never knew that plastic was magnetic...

At AntiMatter's Portal Hideout...

Terabyte: Oh, I'm not feeding the Sharkanator. I would be breaking the law of physics!

BubbleBomber: Sorry, but I can't feed it, either.

Psyclone: Then I guess it's up to me.

...

CHOMP!!

Psyclone: I did it!

Toxikita emerges from the portal.

Toxikita: I was successful!

AntiMatter: EXCELLENT.

Toxikita: Um... Psyclone? Why are there teeth marks on your right fan?

Psyclone: That's what you get for being awesome.

AntiMatter: MUCH OF MY HARD-EARNED MONEY HAS GONE TOWARD SHARK FOOD FOR THE SHARKANATOR. PSYCLONE, I TRUST YOU'LL BE MAKING A WITHDRAWAL?

Psyclone: Yes, Master.

AntiMatter: BUBBLEBOMBER, I HAVE BEEN RUNNING OUT OF MINIONS. I HAVE MADE YOU YOUR OWN STAFF TO TURN CIVILIANS INTO VILLAINS WITH.

BubbleBomber: Thank you, Master!

AntiMatter: I WANT YOU TO FIND MORE CIVILIANS.

BubbleBomber: Yes, Master.

AntiMatter: TOXIKITA, TERABYTE, YOU WILL FEED THE SHARKANATOR.

Both: Nooooooooooooo...!

Aboard the Galactic Enforcer, somewhere in space...

Infearno: Great. I was not captured in the app, yet I am in this story, and my flamethrower suit is confiscated. I'm never getting out of this one.

Frenzy: FLAMETHROWER SUIT!!!

Infearno: NOOOOOOO! It's the only one I've got!

At the Ultra Ag- I mean, Not So Ultra Agents Mission HQ...

Solomon: So, Curtis, I found out why you're a Not So Ultra Agent.

Curtis: Why?

Solomon: Because you didn't do anything at all! Anyway, Professor, I used to be part of the Galaxy Squid-

Professor: Um... The Galaxy Squid? I've heard of the Galaxy Squad, but not the Galaxy Squid.

Solomon: It's just a parody.

Caila: Giant vehicle reported at the Astor Bank in West Village!

Jack: Max, do the honors.

Max walks into a random dynamite stick.

Jack: Thanks, Max!