Unikitty vs. Tee-Vee vs. K-2SO vs. Polka Dot Man

The Award Giver: Garbage Man Grant

On television, which can't be called TV because the Priest of Tee-Vee would sue you...

Shadow: What good shows are on? The fashion channel? Polka dots? What stupid idiot created that?

Television Announcer: Now we bring to you the inventor of Polka Dots, Polka Dot Man.

Shadow: Bah! I can't listen to this garbage any more.

Garbage Man Grant: Time to take out the garbage. By golly, that's you!

---

Shadow: I will get my revenge...

Kit Fisto: Welcome, viewers. My name is Kit Fisto and I will be your announcer today. Now my friend Garbage Man Grant has a few awards to give out.

Garbage Man Grant: The User of the Week Award goes to... NexoByte, for coming back in less than 7 months.

Kit Fisto: Now for the fighters. In the red corner, we have Unikitty.

Unikitty: Thank you, thank you!

Kit Fisto: In the green corner, we have the amazing, bureaucratic, etc. Tee-Vee!

Priest of Tee-Vee: You hath no style, green tentacle man!

Tee-Vee: Regardless, logic dictates I am going to win.

Kit Fisto: In my head, I'm just singing Hot Chelle Rae's Whatever. Anyways, in the blue corner, we have K-2SO.

K-2SO: I'm surprised I didn't get more of a warm welcome. From what I understand, I am a fan favorite.

Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!

K-2SO: Oh, I guess not.

Kit Fisto: In the red corner, we have the fashion supermodel Polka Dot Man!

Polka Dot Man: I see that rusty hunk of metal I previously neat made it to round two. Fear no more! Polka Dot Man will save the day!

Priest of Tee-Vee: You have no respect for the almighty-

Polka Dot Man: No, I mean the rebel droid.

Jack Fury: I predict that Tee-Vee is going to win.

Priest of Tee-Vee: Finally, someone with common sense.

Black Panther: Fight!

In a garbage dump far, far, away...

Garbage Man Dan: Time to throw all of this garbage in the incinerator.

Shadow: Oh no...

Woody: I have some experience getting out of garbage incinerators.

Shadow: How do you do it?

Woody: Unless you have a giant walking piece of ham, you don't.

Shadow: CURSES!

Shadow is getting closer and closer to the pit of lava when the conveyer belt suddenly stops.

???: Ah, good. My gang will be proud of me for pulling this one off.

Shadow: Who are you?

???: My name is Tech. I'm a hacker and I'm part of the gang known as 'The Dead'. Who put you in here?

Shadow: Some guy named Garbage Man Grant.

Tech: I hear he's announcing at Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid.

Shadow: Where are we?

Tech: At a garbage dump in Castillo, Mexico, just outside of Dorado.

Shadow: Well I'm going off to Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid. To get my revenge.

Tech: I know a place in Castillo where you can get a ship.

Shadow: It's a done deal.

Back at Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid...

Tee-Vee: Surrender now and spare yourself 99.99% of the pain of losing.

Unikitty: If I give up now, my TV ratings will go down! That would be the end of the world!

Tee-Vee: My rating of you is already very low.

Unikitty: I meant on television, you dummy!

Priest of Tee-Vee: Tee-Vee is no dummy!

Unikitty: Well it didn't know what a TV is!

Priest of Tee-Vee: Excuse me. I need to go sue the people that had the nerve to name their product TV.

Polka Dot Man: Red Polka Dots! Sneak attack!

Unikitty: That's unfair! You cheated! :(

Polka Dot Man: Life isn't fair, happy sparkly pink unicorn princess.

Unikitty:  Hey! That isn't nice! :(

Kit Fisto: Polka Dot Man is trash-talking Unikitty.

PewPewPewPewPewPewPew!

Unikitty: Ouch!

K-2SO: You know, I really do like this blaster.

Polka Dot Man: Where did you get it?

K-2SO: At a 75% off sale at Brickmart.

Unikitty: Now I'm ANGRY KITTY. NO MORE SPARKLES, NO MORE FUN. I'M GONNA KILL YOU SO IF I WERE YOU I WOULD RUN.

Kit Fisto: Unikitty has gone Hulk on us and has transformed into Angry Kitty.

YazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazziz!

Tee-Vee: You know, you never should of let your guard down. My fiber optic lasers can cut through 72 meters of solid titanium.

Kit Fisto: Ouch! That must've hurt! Tee-Vee used its laser to cut through Unikittty. Hence forth, Unikitty has been eliminated.

Black Panther: I don't know...

ANGRY KITTY: IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN A LITTLE LASER TO STOP ME.

Kit Fisto: Never mind. I guess Unikitty is still okay.

ANGRY KITTY: I'M MORE THAN JUST OK. I'M GREAT. I'M MORE THAN GREAT! I'M GONNA KILL EVERYONE!

Polka Dot Man: Get your hands off me, you big, fat, unicorn!

ANGRY KITTY: You wish.

''KA-POW! KA-BAM!''

Dr. McScrubs: Out of the way, doctor coming through.

Dr. McScrubs enters the arena and feels for Polka Dot Man's pulse.

Dr. McScrubs: Fourth degree burns... That's not good.

Kit Fisto: After getting a few fourth degree burns from Angry Kitty's laser beam, the fashion sensation that's gripping the nation, the one, the only, Polka Dot Man has been eliminated.

Black Panther: I second that.

Harrod's Store Owner: Thank goodness. Every time I walk down his aisle I feel my eyes melting right off my face.

ANGRY KITTY: Who's next?

K-2SO: You.

PewPewPewPewPewPewPewPewPew!

YazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazziz!

KA-BAM! KA-POW!

Kit Fisto: After a combined barrage of attacks from Tee-Vee and K-2SO, Unikitty/Angry Kitty is lying on the ground.

Dr. McScrubs: She's unconscious, alright.

Black Panther: Unikitty has been eliminated.

Back in Castillo...

???: Ships! Best deal in all of Castillo and Dorado!

Shadow turns to see a woman dressed like a bird.

Shadow: I want to buy your ship. How much is it?

???: It's free if you take me and Tech with you.

Shadow: You know Tech?

Tech: Bird's an assassain. Me and her work together.

Shadow: Deal.

Bird: Here's the ship. It's an Eagle Intercepter. I call it the TALON.

Shadow: Garbage Man Grant, here I come.

Back at the ARFP...

Tee-Vee: The odds of you winning is one octillion to one.

K-2SO: As Cassian would say, never tell me the odds. However, telling me the evens would be appreciated.

Tee-Vee: Feel the wrath of me!

YazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazziz!

K-2SO: You missed your mark.

''KA-BAM! KA-POW!''

K-2SO: You missed your mark.

PewPewPewPewPewPew!

On board the TALON...

Tech: Here we are. The ARFP.

Shadow: Revenge is in the air. And it smells sweet.

Bird: No, I think that's the perfume I put on.

Shadow: Let's go find Garbage Man Grant.

---

Kit Fisto: After dodging Tee-Vee's attacks, K-2SO fired a few rounds into Tee-Vee's internal wiring, disabling Tee-Vee for the win.

Black Panther: I hereby declare Tee-Vee eliminated and K-2SO-

???: Sniper! Keep your heads down or lose it!

Bird: I have the Garbage Man in my sights, sir. Should I fire?

Shadow: Open fire.

Anubis Security Guard: Hands up! You're under arrest!

Shadow and Bird are arrested and put in two separate high-security sarcophaguses.

Black Panther: I hereby declare Tee-Vee eliminated and K-2SO the champion of this battle!

In a bar in Castillo...

Bird: ... And that is how me and Shadow escaped from prison.

Bartender: What do you have to say, Shadow?

Shadow: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And now that I am stronger, I shall finally get my revenge.

Later, at another table...

Unikitty: I like sparkles and rainbows!

Shadow: I like killing people and torturing people.

Unikitty: Well, I guess we all have our differences!

End Transmission.

See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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