Achu vs. Craniac vs. Nadakhan vs. Alien

In Cloud Cuckoo Land...

Unikitty: YES! I'm getting my own TV show! Who's gonna watch it?!

Emmet: Not me. It's too girly.

Wyldstyle: I'm so proud of you, Unikitty!

Emmet: This isn't awesome.

Unikitty and Wyldstyle stare at him.

Wyldstyle: THIS from the guy who popularized "Everything is Awesome"? Give me a break.

She leaves for ARFP.

Unikitty: No, Emmet, you can't be on my show. It's allll mine!

Emmet: What a relief...

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid, a place of vengeance and awesomeness!

Amset-Ra: Ogel is still missing. All of his usual bases are occupied by the Serpentine. Must be the free cash he left behind.

At Ogel Underwater Base...

Skales: YESSSS! OGEL LEFT HISSSSSS ENTIRE SSSSSTASSSSSH OF PIZZZZZZA BEHIND!

Mezmo: Chill. It'ssss jusssst pizzzzza.

Skales stares at Mezmo, who becomes hypnotized.

Skales: You will clean your room.

Mezmo: Yeeeessssss, massssster...

At Ogel Control Center...

Skalidor: Ssssweet! Ogel left behind all of hissssss orb-making sssssuppliesssss!

Bytar: Can I make ssssssome?

Skalidor: No, you Eruptorr impersssssonator.

At Ogel's Mountain Fortress...

Acidicus: *shiver* It'sssss not easssssy being green...

Lasha: Jussssst chill.

Acidicus: What do you think I'm doing?!

Spitta: Hey, at leasssst we have all these time-freezing Ice Orbs.

Acidicus: NO. MORE. COLD.

At a random unnamed Ogel base in the middle of nowhere...

Fangtom: Where are we?

Snappa: We're at a random unnamed Ogel basssse in the middle of nowhere.

Fangtom: Thank you, Captain Obvioussssss.

Captain Obvious: Where am I?

Fang-Suei: You're at a-

Captain Obvious: I know, I know.

At a giant, Ogel-themed skyscraper in Ninjago City...

...

...

''Oh, that's right. The Anacondrai like it at ARFP.''

Nindroid: Permission to rent this sector.

Owner: I'm afraid I can't do-

Draw weapon sound effect

Nindroid: Reconsider.

Owner: Sure, go ahead.

Nindroid: YAY!

''And to imagine that a Nindroid owns a giant, Ogel-themed skyscraper in Ninjago City. Someone call the Ninja!''

Back at ARFP...

Wyldstyle: In the Red Corner, beware the might of the lord of the Amazon, Achu!

Achu: Having recovered from my cold, your demise will be swift.

Wyldstyle: Poorly phrased, but it'll do. In the Green Corner, the surprise winner of this season and a Skull Twin ripoff, take it away for Craniac!

Craniac: This match oughtta be easy enough, with only an alien, a pirate, and a guy in a costume.

Achu scowls at Craniac, but he doesn't see it.

Wyldstyle: In the Green Corner, the hard-of-hearing Djinn Sky Pirate captain and one of three pirate captains to have fought this season, Nadakhan!

Nadakhan: Yaharr! Me work at Axle's be really payin' off! Oh, and ye be toast. Mmm... toast...

Wyldstyle shakes her head in amusement.

Wyldstyle: In the Blue Corner is the Alien who illegally defeated Tee-Vee!

Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!

Alien: Quiet! He isn't even here today!

But the audience doesn't hear him.

Amset-Ra: Alien, let them cheer for Tee-Vee. The audience is practicing their cheering for his match in two weeks.

Alien: Oh.

Wyldstyle: CoM?

Cloud of Monstrox: None of the fighters look truly battle-worthy, save Nadakhan. I expect his expert Djinn Blade and Djinn skills will earn him a fairly easy victory.

Craniac: You don't know my full potential.

Achu: Or mine.

Alien: Or mine!

Craniac: Don't make me laugh, peewee.

Alien: But my queen who's up there in the rafters told me to beat you nice and easy today.

Craniac: Pshh. Not happening.

Nadakhan: While ye be talk in' 'mongst yerselves, I be grantin' Alien's wish of his queen playing with Rathtars while he gets rice and ziti.

Alien Queen: WHO'S THE MORON WHO SUMMONED RATHTARS AGAINST ME?!

Alien: Wow! Thanks, Nadakhan.

Nadakhan: Eat up. Ye've got a nice long battle ahead of ye.

Alien: And I'll win this one for sure!

Nadakhan: Suuuuure ye will. Ye could barely stand to a Hot Dog Man two seasons ago. Ye can't possibly beat any one of us, least of all me.

Alien: I'll try my best!

Nadakhan: Shiver me timbers, didn't Yoda teach ye anything? "Do or do not, there be no try", he be sayin'.

Wyldstyle: Cut the chatter, everyone. Dalek, start us off.

Dalek: NO ONE COMMANDS THE SUPREME RACE OF THE UNIVERSE. READY! SET! EXTERMINATE!

Craniac: Ta-da! Here's my spaceship, ordered in one piece, so that I don't have to waste ten seconds constr-

Zark!

Alien: You may not be wasting time, but you're wasting words. Besides, Wyldstyle told us not to talk.

Nadakhan: Lookie here, mateys, this be Pharaoh Hotep entombed in me Djinn Blade.

Amset-Ra: You just lost my respect, Nadakhan. That's my dad in there.

Nadakhan: So?

Amset-Ra: You're fired from the Pyramid Staff.

Nadakhan: I be not carin' in the least; I be workin' at Axle's instead! As an entertainer!

Amset-Ra: The fact that our ratings drop drastically when I interfere in battles is the only reason I'm not coronaing you right now.

Nadakhan: You can't corona me anyway! You might break me blade, and your dad too!

Achu: O Sun Disc, come to me; And expel these fighters three!

Vorp!

Wyldstyle: And Achu has summoned his Sun Disc. I wonder what he plans to do with it...

Alien: Hey Craniac! Do you realize how much you look like Terry?

Craniac: I'm meaner than he is, and he's neglected in favor of a hacker.

Alien: But he has a better record than you!

Craniac turns on Alien.

Craniac: Records don't matter, underling. And if you want to save yourself a desconstructing, I suggest you stand in front of me.

He does.

SheeeeennnnnnZARK!

Craniac and Achu high five.

Craniac: What a gullible species the Phobans are...

Wyldstyle: Craniac has tricked Alien into standing right in the path of Achu's Sun Disc. That was awesome!

Alien: No it wasn't...

Emmet: You just made my song a lie!

Alien: I did not!

Nadakhan: Too much focus on the Alien here! Sophisticated Djinn pirate comin' through!

Craniac: I wish he'd give up his pride...

Nadakhan: Ye wish ye'd give up yer ride? Wish granted!

Poof!

Craniac: Hey, my speeder bike!

Wyldstyle: Nadakhan just made Craniac's speeder bike disappear!

Nadakhan: I be only havin' one more wish left. Achu, it be yer turn.

Achu: My only wish is that you will leave me alone.

Nadakhan: Sure I can leave ye a bone! In fact, here's the whole skeleton!

''Poof! Block!''

Wyldstyle: Nadakhan made a skeleton fall out of the sky, but Achu blocked it with his Sun Disc.

Nadakhan: Now I be havin' a wish fer you, matey. I wish-

Zingzingzing!

Craniac: Game's up, Nad.

Nadakhan: It be very bad luck when ye interrupt one's wishes! Now ye'll pay!

Swing!

Craniac: Stop swinging Amset-Ra's dad at me!

Nadakhan: Saaaaay, when ye put it that way, it does sound strange... Here ye go.

He releases Pharaoh Hotep, who is instantly swarmed by reporters.

Reporter 1: Pharaoh Hotep!

Reporter 2: What was it like inside that Djinn Blade?

Reporter 3: Was it rusty in there?

Reporter 4: Did you feel like your energy was being used?

Reporter 5: Can I have your autograph?!

Pharaoh Hotep: Look! It's Mr. Gold!

''The reporters stampede across the ring and out of the arena. Alien is trampled.''

Dalek: ALIEN IS EXTERMINATED.

Wyldstyle: So tell me, Hotep, what was it like in that Djinn Blade?

Pharaoh Hotep: It was actually quite roomy in there. But knowing the media, they'll twist the story...

Wyldstyle: So we'll call them the Nadakhan Reporters!

Achu: Sun Disc, transform.

CONVERT!

Craniac: What...?

Nadakhan: Ye got to be kiddin'!

Achu: I do not kid. This is a ridable lawn mower with flick missiles.

Flame Thrower: JEEEEESTROOOOO! ACHU COMMITTED PLAGIARISM!

Jestro: I DON'T CARE!

Wyldstyle: Yes, Achu did commit plagiarism, for he rebuilt The Glob Lobber out of his Sun Disc.

Craniac: Construct!

CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK

Craniac: It's the Stealth Hunter from Exo-Force.

Hikaru: More plagiarism!

Sensei Keiken: It's okay. This is the only place in the world where plagiarism is accepted.

Hikaru: Oh.

Craniac: Did anyone tell you how truly wimpy your vehicle looks, Sneezy?

Achu: Do not condescend my superiority.

Fwoosh fwoosh!

Craniac: GAH! GET THESE GLOBLINS OUTTA MAH COCKPIT!

Achu: No.

Nadakhan:' Wish granted!

Poof!

Craniac: NOOOO! NOT THE POPCORN! IT BURRRRRNS!

Wyldstyle: Thanks to Nadakhan, another mishearing summons popcorn into the cockpit with Craniac!

Nadakhan: Thanks, Achu! Now I be returnin' th' favor!

Chopchopchopchopchopchopchopchop

Achu: Jestro will be mad at you...

Wyldstyle: Nadakhan has just chopped Achu's vehicle into pieces!

Jestro: It's MY vehicle.

Achu: You have shattered the Sun Disc. For this... you must be entombed... IN CANDY!

Poofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoof

Nadakhan: THIS BATTLE BE SO RANDOM!

Amset-Ra: Next one to speak in caps gets to be Janitor of the Week.

Craniac: JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!

''Stumble! Crash!''

Dalek: CRANIAC IS EXTERMINATED.

Amset-Ra: Craniac, go get the bucket and mop.

Wyldstyle: Having Globlins and loads of popcorn in the Stealth Hunter took its toll, and it caused Craniac to fly out of control and out of the ring!

Nadakhan: Now it be ye and me, Achu.

Achu: You already underestimate me and my mystical powers.

Bling!

Nadakhan: What be ye doing?!

Achu: You are now hovering two feet above the ground.

Nadakhan: So?

Achu: Then I will put you six feet under the ground. Later, though.

Nadakhan: I wish ye'd do somethin' already!

Achu: I wish you would stop squirming.

Nadakhan: Here be yer rap worm!

''Poof! Chomp!''

The Great Devourer: *Random Rap Song*

Dalek: ACHU IS EXTERMIMATED. NADAKHAN IS THE WINNER.

Nadakhan: I didn't think I be gettin' this far...

In the shadows somewhere...

???: He's doubting himself. That will make my second match easier after I win my first!

Anubis Guard: What are you doing, Invisible?

Invizable: Gah! Er, uh...

Craniac is mopping the halls below the ring.

Craniac: Why me? That Dalek speaks in caps all the time!

He then sees his speeder bike in the utility closet.

Craniac: I'll get you, Nadakhan...

See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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