Alien vs. Metalbeard

Amset-Ra: Nothing to see here, move along at your own risk!

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! Due to the Pluuvian government filing a complaint against us on account of our Decibel-brand speakers' deafening sound, we have taken them down. However, we have replaced them with Anti-Frenzy guns!

Elsewhere in the pyramid...

Pewpewpewpewpew!

Frenzy:"' Whoa! You could have hit me with that! Yikes! These things are everywhere!

Back in the stadium...

Wyldstyle: Not to mention I set up a security laser beam system to protect my hair, and Morro is standing by with a freeze ray missile launcher. Anyway, let's meet our contestants, who just so happen to be from our early days!

Amset-Ra: What is this, a game show?

Wyldstyle: Nah. Those are too bland. Hockey games are more exciting than game shows, and even their fights are frowned upon. Anyway, in the Red Corner, the almost pathetic Alien!

Alien: Hey! I beat Tee-Vee last match.

Wyldstyle: Yup. Almost pathetic. In the Blue Corner, the larger-than-life pirate Metalbeard!

Metalbeard: Aye! After nearly two years, Metalbeard be back fer more action!

Alien: I can take you down!

Metalbeard: Says the wimpy spacelubber who couldn't even beat Toxikita last season.

Alien: But I beat Jek-14, Lord Garmadon, and Tee-Vee!

Metalbeard: Aye, but they be all beaten by sheer luck.

Alien: Just like you beat AntiMatter by sheer luck?

Metalbeard: ...Look, matey, just admit that I be the better fighter!

Alien: Let's see... *comparing ranks* Rank 14... Rank 45... That should tell you a lot right there.

Metalbeard: ...

Wyldstyle: Make your prediction, Alpha-Team-Villain-Whose-Name-Is-Not-To-Be-Mentioned-In-This-Pyramid.

Ogel: Metalbeard.

Wyldstyle: See ya.

A random trebuchet throws him into a random portal.

Wyldstyle: Much better. Now, as Tee-Vee has sustained critical damage last match (and Alien will pay for that), he is in our sadistic Dr. Inferno's lab.

In Dr. Inferno's lab...

Dr. Inferno: How do you feel, Tee-Vee?

Tee-Vee: Recovery = 94%.

Dr. Inferno: Oh, where's your priest?

Tee-Vee: Location unknown.

Back at the match...

Wyldstyle: So General Magmar will be our referee. Magmar?

General Magmar: That's Mama Luigi Supreme Glorious General to you, civilian. And begin this match posthaste.

The Saber-Tooth Walker falls on him.

Sir Fangar: Do not steal my gloooooorious speech style, inferior servant of a book!

General Magmar: I AM NOT THE SERV- oh yeah...

Alien: Construct!

Wyldstyle: Alien is building an ETX Strike Ship!

Alien: You're going down!

Metalbeard: Shiver me timbers! Ye be an easy target!

Woosh!

Alien: You missed! Activate attack mode!

Wyldstyle: Metalbeard tried to swing his sword at Alien, but missed!

Metalbeard: I've got me a gnarly idea...

Wyldstyle: What's this? Metalbeard is... running forward with his sword low? And now... he's using it as a vaulting pole?

Alien: What...

Metalbeard: Prepare to be boarded, spacelubber!

Alien: No... No... No...

Metalbeard: Permission to land this ship?

Alien: Denied.

Alien pulls out a crystal staff.

Alien Queen: THAT'S MINE.

Havek: What happened?

Alien Queen: First that runt stole my fleet, and now he has my staff. Shoot that insubordinate's craft down at once.

Havek: Yes, Your Majesty.

''Havek signals several Aliens, who drag in a stolen Geonosian Cannon. They fire it at Alien's ship. It is a direct hit!''

Alien: Whoa! Friendly fire!

Havek: I think not.

Metalbeard: Ye've betrayed yer crew, matey.

''Mealbeard jumps just before the ship crashes to avoid the explosion. He lands on the rubble.''

General Magmar: (from underneath the rubble of the Saber-Tooth Walker) I declare Metalbeard the champion of the land!

Metalbeard: Aye! This is only me second victory!

Alien: (from underneath the rubble of his own ship) And hopefully your last...

Amset-Ra: Is it it just me, or are these battles getting shorter and shorter? Anyway, here's to a nonexistent ending!

See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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