User blog:NexoByte/Grundal's Night Before Christmas

Hark, my readers,

And I shall tell

Of the night before Christmas

Without any fail.

`Tis a story 'bout Amset,

Hotep, and fate

And who better than Grundal

This story relate!

Our story takes place

The Fighting Pyramid within

So without further ado

Let us begin.

`Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the pyramid

Not a creature was stirring

''Not even a... Fearamid...?''

Amset-Ra: Good! Now that Grundal froze everyone in time everyone's asleep, I can pig out on Santa's milk and cookies! Not that he'll be eating them anyway. Better avoid the carrots - I'm not a vegetarian.

I said, "Not a creature was stirring."

Amset-Ra: Eek!

Amset-Ra attempts to stand perfectly still.

''Now, you probably wonder how I am speaking without using Christmas carols. Well, I must speak in italics when doing so, and I get worn out rather quickly. Like... so... Let's... move on...''

Ogel was locked away

As good as dead

While visions of violent LEGO battles

Danced in his head.

Amset-Ra: Now come on, Grundal! You know I'm not that cruel.

Cruel enough to try to take over the world.

Amset-Ra: Argh, you got me there... Yes, I admit, I've been trying to take over the world via social media.

Let's just continue.

My dad in his corona

And I in my crown

Had just settled down

For a long winter's drown.

Amset-Ra: Ahh, I just LOVE to go drown over at Jokerland's Toxic Tank. Though I hate getting my bindings wet, I might as well put on a suit first- waitaminute! Why am I wearing a crown while my dad has a corona! I can corona way better than he can! Anyway, it's time for my drown!

When outside the Toxic Tank

There rose such a clatter

I turned off the faucet

To see what was the matter.

Away to the door

I flew like Commander Flash

I ripped off the curtain

And doled out the cash.

Amset-Ra turns off the slime.

Amset-Ra: Listen, Joker, I'm sorry about the curtain. Here's the money to pay for it.

Joker: YES! YES!!!! Now I can get the Batman repellant I always wanted! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Amset-Ra: At least that money went to a good cause.

Amset-Ra opens the door.

Pharaoh Hotep: Stop wasting so much hot toxic water! You know I need to look my best for Christmas tomorrow.

Amset-Ra:Actually, it's Christmas morning.

Pharaoh Hotep: D'oh!

Amset-Ra: Santa's coming! Quick! Back to the pyramid!

The moon on the breast

Of the boisterous sands

Gave the luster of magic

On the speedy clans.

Amset-Ra: I'm not a clan! I'm an army!

Pharaoh Hotep: Well, I'm a clan!

Amset-Ra: Why are we arguing for no reason?

Pharaoh Hotep: This is a random Christmas comedy, remember?

When what to my wondering

Eyes should appear

But a miniature sleigh

''And eight tiny... Spaceship spaceship SPACESHIIIIIIPS!!!!!!!''

Santa: I'm on a budget! I couldn't afford reindeer. Too wild. And who on Mars gave me a microscale sleigh?!

Amset-Ra: It's Hypergirl. Run. And. Hide.

With an alien driver

So crazy and mean

I knew in a moment

It must be the Queen.

Amset-Ra and Pharaoh Hotep dash into the pyramid.

More rapid than Sonic

Her Aliens they came

And she whistled and shouted

And called them by name:

Sonic: More rapid than me, eh?

Amset-Ra: What are you doing in this wacky Christmas story?

Sonic: I have the right to be in any story I want. Besides, I'm a LEGO Minifigure now.

Pharaoh Hotep: Ssh! She's about to speak!

"Now Alice! Now Ali!

Now Aloha and Hovok!

''On Alfred! On Alec!''

'On Albert and Hyvak!"

Alien Queen: And you too, Rudolph equivalent.

Havek: I can't see a thing with this giant red glowing nose on the front of my ship!

Alien Queen: Too bad.

"To the top of the pyramid!

To the top of the wall!

Now eliminate my enemies

And dash away all!"

Amset-Ra:' Oh no. That doesn't sound good.

Pharaoh Hotep: Let's get out of here.

Alien Queen: Too late, you fools.

As foolish adventurers that before

The wild Tygurah fly,

When they meet with trouble,

They then talk with Kai.

I'm terrible at this.

So up to the pyramid-top

The Aliens they flew,

With the spaceships full of munitions,

and Hypogirtis too.

Amset-Ra: Oh no. She's breaking in.

Pharaoh Hotep: Let's get out of here.

Amset-Ra: You already said that.

And then in a moment

I heard on the roof

The prancing and scurrying

Of the Aliens aloof.

Amset-Ra: We may still have time to get ready for a fight. Everyone grab your Space Police freeze rays.

Pharaoh Hotep: Everyone? But there are only two of-

As I loaded my gun

And was turning around,

Down the chimney Hypogirtis

Came with a bound.

Alien Queen: Too late.

Amset-Ra: Since when did I have a chimney? And narrator, it's rude to interrupt your subjects.

Alien Queen: Now you'll pay for repeatedly stealing my ships.

She was dressed like a spaceman

From her head to her claw foot,

And her armor was all tarnished

With ashes and soot.

A bundle of thermal detonators

She had flung on my back

And she looked like a peddler

Just opening her pack.

Alien Queen: Here, hold these. I need to get my other weapons.

Amset-Ra: This is awkward…

Her eyes how they glowed!

Her dimples how nonexistent!

Her cheeks were like, I don't know

Her nose oh so nonexistent!

Her droll little mouth was drawn

Badly

And the beard of her chin-

Excuse me?

Hey, it sorta rhymes.

Alien Queen: Now I can test my new super weapon thingy!

Zark!

The barrel of her blaster

She held tight in her fist

And the smoke it encircled

Her rage when she missed.

Alien Queen: D’oh I missed!

She had an angry face

And a less angry belly,

But then Santa came

And the room felt like jelly!

Amset-Ra: Do you like, believe in Santa?

Alien Queen: No. Why?

Amset-Ra: He’s right behind you.

She turns around.

Santa: Ho ho ho!

Alien Queen: Gasp! IbelievedinyouallalongSantapleasedon'tkillme!

He was chubby and plump

A right jolly old elf,

And I smiled when I saw

He had rescued myself!

A wink of his eye

And a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know

I had nothing to dread.

Amset-Ra: Phew!

He holsters his freeze ray.

Amset-Ra: Thanks for rescuing me, Santa! She's almost as bad as Frenzy!

He spoke not a word,

But went straight to his work,

And kidnapped Hypogirtis

And called her a jerk.

Oh, and he also gave the Pyramid Staff their presents.

And laying his finger

Aside of his nose

And giving a nod

Up the chimney they rose!

Amset-Ra: Well, I hope I won't see her for a long time...

He sprang to his sleigh

To his team gave a whistle

And away they all flew

Like the down of a thistle.

Amset-Ra: There he goes... and he's towing the Queen's sleigh with him! By the way, where's Dad and Sonic?

''He sees Pharaoh Hotep with his arms full of presents, and Sonic racing against Santa. Of course Santa is faster.''

Amset-Ra: Holy corona! How'd you manage to get so many presents?

Pharaoh Hotep: Donating your income to Santas Anonymous really paid off.

Amset-Ra: D'oh!

But I heard him exclaim

As he drove out of sight

"Merry Christmas to all

And to all a Good Night!"