User blog:NexoByte/Not So Ultra Agents, Part 1: Riverside Raid

''Max Burns is driving on the Flying Bridge in his Quad Bike. He pops a wheelie, wrecking a few cars in the process.''

Max: Woohoo! This is what I call a hobby!

''He spots a boat in the river below. A sludge trail is coming from behind it.''

Max: Uh-oh, that could be dangerous. I'll take care of it.

''Max drives off the bridge, forgetting to detach his boat. He falls in the water.''

Max: And I just took a bath this morning...

Max spots Adam Acid on the boat.

Adam Acid: Could you please stay back and let me pollute this river in peace? In other words, go away if you know what's good for ya!

Max swims toward Adam at about 45 mph. (He is, after all, a seven-times world champion.) Adam Acid guns the motor, and the chase begins.

Somehow, the boat's ignition is turned, and it drives toward Max.

Max: Wait, I thought my boat never detached!

You're right about that.

Max: Excuse me, but I really need to get back to chasing Acid.

Okay.

Max grabs his boat and continues chasing Adam Acid.

Max: Please! Think of the fish, think of the population's water supply!

Adam Acid: Think of my mistress! Think of these boxes that I'm throwing at you!

Max: Noooo...

''A box hits the boat, and it briefly goes under. Suddenly, it reappears.''

Adam Acid: This time you're staying down!

He grabs a giant flyswatter and tries to swat the boat, but it is too fast.

Max: Sorry to burst your bubble.

Adam Acid: What bubble? I don't know what yo- Aahhh!

Max blasts the boxes surrounding Adam, and he is soon tied to the boat.

Adam Acid: Aw man! She'll un-hench me and it's all your fault!

Max: Who's "she?"

Adam Acid: Um... my science teacher. Yeah, that's right.

Max: So you say that your science teacher gave you an assignment to pollute the river.

Adam Acid: That's right.

Max: Well, let me tell you that my boss can get more information out of you than even I can.

Meanwhile...

AntiMatter: SO, BUBBLEBOMBER, I'M GLAD YOU'RE ON MY SIDE.

BubbleBomber: It's an honor, Lord AntiMatter. By the way, thanks for letting me borrow your staff. I managed to turn a firefighter, a weathercaster, and an IQ genius into villains.

AntiMatter: WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES?

BubbleBomber: Infearno, Psyclone, and Terabyte, respectively.

AntiMatte: EXCELLENT.

Toxikita: (running in) Bad news, boss. Acid is behind bars.

AntiMatter: I WAS COUNTING ON THAT. TREMOR, YOU WILL WREAK HAVOC ON THE ULTRA AGENTS AND ASTOR CITY. TERA-WHATTA, YOU WILL BACK HIM UP. AM I CLEAR?

Tremor and Terabyte: Yes, Master!

Terabyte: Technically, he shouldn't have gotten my name wrong!

Tremor and Terabyte leave.

At the Ultra Agents Mission HQ...

Max is making wavy motions with his hand.

Curtis: Um... is it a fish?

Caila: Water?

Jack: Oh! It's a boat!

Max: Yes! It's a boat!

An alarm goes off.

Solomon: Alright, that's enough charades, we've got a mission. A boxer in a tank is wrecking Astoria!

Curtis: The dog?

Solomon: No. The sport. Jack, this is your mission. Don't forget to tae a vehicle.

Jack: I will not forget!

Jack grabs his stud shooter and shield and leaves.

Solomon: Jack, put down the leaves.

Jack puts down the leaves and leaves.

Jack: But I only had one leaves, not two!

''Jack... um... exits.''

To be continued...