Coelophysis vs. Alien Queen vs. Frenzy vs. Pharaoh Hotep

Announcement: We've had a great two-year run, but after some careful consideration, we decided to close up shop here and move along. It was great to know you all, but... life goes on, and so must I. See you around.

April fools.

Amset-Ra: That was terrible! That's not my idea of an April fool's joke!

Well, I guess we have a different sense of humor.

Amset-Ra: I guess...

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Rubik's Pyramid, the ultimate rival of Meca One, even over the Exo-Force! Our VIP, which will be replacing the usual Minifigure of the Week award, is none other than the awesome, spectacular, amazing, popular... Meca One.

Meca One: Destination "Amset-Ra's Rubik's Pyramid" defies the laws of physics. Activating teleporter. Detonating explsives.

Meca One teleports out just as the building explodes.

Amset-Ra: That's enough, Frenzy.

Frenzy: But Terabyte taught me how to hack!

Amset-Ra: GET. IN. THAT. RING.

Frenzy: Fine...

Wyldstyle: In the Red Corner, beware the blast from the past, Coelophysis!

Coelophysis: ROAR!

Wyldstyle: In the Green Corner, it came from outer space, the Alien Queen!

Alien Queen: You are incorrect and yet so right. I am not as hideous as you think.

Wyldstyle: In the Yellow Corner, one of the most annoying minifigures, Frenzy!

Frenzy: INSERT EXCLAMATORY RANDOMNESS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: And in the Blue Corner, it's Amset-Ra's dad, who doesn't need an intro.

Pharaoh Hotep: Yes I do.

Wyldstyle: And now, our predictor.

A puppet of the CLoud of Monstrox: I think that Frenzy will win.

Amset-Ra: CORONA!

BZZZZZZZZN!

Amset-Ra: Can anyone smell fried Ogel? ... Yeah, me neither. We don't have noses.

Timmy: But I do!

Detective: I solved your case long ago. Why do you still have a nose?

He chases Timmy out of the arena.

Amset-Ra: Tee-Vee isn't here today because he's preparing for his battle, which will happen in three weeks' time. So I will predict... Hypothermia.

Alien Queen: ERROR. NAME INCORRECT. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.

Amset-Ra: If I say your name correctly, can I go to your planet whenever I want?

Alien Queen: NO.

Amset-Ra: Pleeeeeease?

Alien Queen: You stole my mothership at least twice before; therefore, I've banned you from my planet.

Amset-Ra: But I've got this pass to Mars.

Alien Queen: Fine then. Go to Mars. Wreck the joint. But you can't take my mothership. It's got a combination lock and a tracking device.

Amset-Ra: O-kay...

Wyldstyle: While you two catch up with the times, I will summon a random referee to... well... referee.

She presses a button, and a Dalek enters the arena.

Dalek: READY? SET! EXTERMINATE!

Pharaoh Hotep: Re-Gou Corona!

Alien Queen: YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

Pharaoh Hotep: And why not, Queenie?

Alien Queen: BECAUSE I ALREADY IMPLEMENTED ITS POWERS INTO MYSELF.

Pharaoh Hotep: Brickmart has a Clone-a-Matic machine, which I used to clone my Re-Gou Ruby. Epic fail on your part, Hypergirl!

Alien Queen: If you read my last statement, you might be able to conclude that I can CORONA!

BZZZZZZZZZNNN!

Frenzy: YOU MISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taco Tuesday Guy: Yaziziziziziz! SPICEH! ME LIKEY!

Alien Queen: I'll save you for last, oldie.

Pharaoh Hotep: I'm and oldie but goodie!

Frenzy: Construct!!!!!!

Coelophysis: ROAR!

CHINK!

Wyldstyle: What in the- Coelophysis just generated a staff from its mouth! You know anything about this, Amset?

Amset-Ra: Oh yeah...

FLASHBACK!

''An apparition appears, with the staff of anti-evil. Suddenly, a bolt of red light emerges from it, and Toxikita is struck down.''

Jestro: The winner, winner, winner... TEE-VEE!!!!!!

The Entire Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!

Amset-Ra: Hey, why's that apparition looking at me?

The apparition is about to obliterate Amset-Ra, but just in the nick of time, the Coelophysis jumps into the air, eating the apparition, and gaining its powers.

Amset-Ra: Well that will be an interesting feature of next season.

END FLASHBACK!

Amset-Ra: That apparition... Coelophysis ate it and gained its powers. This will be interesting... Ogel, it's too late to change your mind if you were reconsidering your vote!

But Ogel is nowhere to be found.

Amset-Ra: Eh, he'll show up soon, knowing him... I'll make sure of it!

Wyldstyle: And now Coelophysis takes aim at Frenzy and his project!

Coelophysis: ROAR!

''Veeeeennnnnn... ZARK!''

Frenzy: Gah! My beautiful Lunar Limo!

Brick Daddy: My beautiful Lunar Limo. This Frenzy's gotta go.

Wyldstyle: Coelophysis just demolished Frenzy's Lunar Limo!

Jawson: Didn't you just hear what our JAWSOME boss just said?

Sir Fangar: Stop plagiarizing my gloooooooorious stereotype.

Jawson: It's not plagiarism if our stereotypes came from the same JAWSOME author!

Sir Fangar: But still.

Alien Queen: CORONA!

Pharaoh Hotep: CORONA!

BBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZNNNN!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Both Pharaoh Hotep and the Phoban queen fired their Coronas at Coelophysis, but the dino became transparent and the lasers destroyed the fourth wall! Now everyone's free to break the fourth wall!

Nindroid: I am a LEGO Minifigure.

Agent Charge: I was made in 2008, and probably thought out in 2006!

Hikaru: I'm telling LEGO to reboot my theme!

Some guy named LEGO: Dude. Go to Billund and ask them there. If I rebooted your theme I would add ponies, racecars, and random trademarked giant robots!

Hikaru: SECURITY! GET THIS BRONY OUT OF HERE!

Some guy named LEGO: I think I'll go to Billund and make my theme a reality. I think I'll call it... War of Awesome!

He is dragged away.

Amset-Ra: I am soooo not getting that theme.

Wyldstyle: What's wrong? It's gonna have ponies! What's not to love?

Amset-Ra: *sigh* Everything about it. It's just wrong.

Pharaoh Hotep: Enough distractions! Corona!

Jam!

Pharaoh Hotep: What is this? Why is my headdress covered in jelly?

Frenzy: It's jam! It makes a natural laser jammer! Get it?

Pharaoh Hotep: That was terrible.

Alien Queen: You don't know terrible until you've seen my army! Force ETX-72, prepare for takeoff!

Coelophysis: Roar!

Pharaoh Hotep: No. No! NO! INSERT GIANT BIG EXCLAMATORY "NO" HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lick lick lick lick!

Amset-Ra: Pfffff AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That Coelophysis is licking the jam off my dad! This is rich! I'm putting it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube - you name it, I'm sharing it there!

Pharaoh Hotep: I'm going to have my revenge on you one of these days...

Amset-Ra: Too bad. You already won the match with me back in Season 1.

Pharaoh Hotep: Then I call for a rematch!

Amset-Ra: No.

Frenzy: THIS IS AWESOME! ARE YOU GETTING THIS ON CAMERA????????????

''The Anubis Guard behind the camera gives a thumbs-up... which is kinda hard for a minifigure to do, but he somehow pulls it off.''

Alien Queen: Am I the only mature minifigure in this arena?

Her fleet breaks through the wall and take their positions.

Alien Commander: (through a megaphone) ATTENTION OPPONENTS OF HER MAJESTY QUEEN HYPOGIRTIS OF MARS! PLEASE KINDLY STEP OUT OF THE ARENA!

Coelophysis: Roar!

''Veeeeennnnnn... ZARK!''

''KABOOM! CRUNCH!''

Frenzy: A little help here...

Alien Queen: Good thing my mothership isn't here...

Wyldstyle: The Coelophysis has fired the staff of anti-evil at the lead ETX Alien Infiltrator, shooting it down. And Frenzy is crushed under the rubble. He won't be going after my hair for a long time, I hope...

Frenzy's eyes widen.

Frenzy: H... h... h-h... ha... ha-ha-ha... HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He darts out of the rubble faster than you can say "Am I dreaming or was that a certain four-armed alien?", and bounces into an invisible force field surrounding the announcer's booth.

Wyldstyle: Sorry, Frenzy, we took precautionary measures before this match.

Frenzy: I! WILL! GET! THAT! HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He leaps into the air in an attempt to steal one of the Phoban fighters, but leaves the bounds of the arena in the process.

Dalek: FRENZY HAS BEEN EXTERMINATED.

Wyldstyle: Well, that was unexpected.

Alien Queen: And that is why I always bring a full fleet of ships with me wherever I go.

Pharaoh Hotep: They won't save you, Queenie! RE-GOU CORONA!

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzznnn!

Alien Queen: ...

Pharaoh Hotep: WHAT?!

Alien Queen: I've told you before, I can resist the full power of the Re-Gou Ruby, even in laser form.

Pharaoh Hotep: Then how can I beat you?

Alien Queen tosses a manual to him.

Alien Queen: Here, read this. It shows you how many different fighters were beaten.

Pharaoh Hotep: Let's see... Invizable beat you by crushing you with a safe... Unidracow beat you with a sneak attack... and Craniac burnt you to a crisp. Which one of those should I pull off...? Ah, I know! Construct!

CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK

Wyldstyle: I don't quite know what he built. Must have put it into his invisible giant back pocket that everyone seems to have.

Alien Queen: If you think you're going to win by sneak-attacing me with a giant bouncing burning safe, you're wrong. Alien Commander, summon my decoy mothership! (I don't trust the folks around here with my real mothership...)

Pharaoh Hotep: Do you smell something burning?

Alien Queen: It's probably one of my ETX Strike ships. It's always leaking burning fuel.

LEAP!

Pharaoh Hotep: HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!

CRUNCH!

Dalek: COELOPHYSIS HAS BEEN EXTERMINATED.

Wyldstyle: Pharaoh Hotep left his burning safe in his back pocket for too long, and he leaped into the air, on fire, of course, and landed on the poor Coelophysis. Actually, he's rich; he's got about 2 million bucks in the bank.

Alien Queen: Since you appear to be helpless, pharaoh, give me the honor of finishing you off.

Pharaoh Hotep: Urg... Never...

Alien Queen: What's taking them so long?

She checks a mobile app which shows the position of her decoy mothership, then dials its number.

Alien Queen: WHERE ARE YOU?

Hovok: We stopped for pizza along the way to ARFP. What would you like to order?

Alien Queen: I'll have an extra large pepperoni with anchovies. Deliver it to my hive.

Hovok: Right-o!

Alien Queen hangs up.

Alien Queen: I just realized, I don't need my decoy mothership after all.

Pharaoh Hotep: What makes you say that?

Alien Queen draws a massively oversized laser bazooka.

Alien Queen: THIS makes me say that. Bye-bye, pharaoh.

''Meanwhile, at the Axle Bar and Grill, the customers see Pharaoh Hotep flying through the roof of ARFP. He lands in a random plastic recycling bin.''

Nadakhan: Must be Amset's army practicin' again...

Snake: What are you doing here?! Your fight's next week!

Nadakhan: Oh, right! I be goin' now!

He flies out the window.

Snake: He could have used the door...

As the audience streams out the doors...

Amset-Ra: That was hilarious, ma'am. Best explosion I ever saw.

Alien Queen: What did you like better, the explosion or the way your dad flew through the roof?

Speaking of the roof, it breaks open and the Alien Mothership lands.

Hovok: We brought your pizza!

Alien Queen: THAT'S MY REAL MOTHERSHIP, YOU BUFFOONS.

Amset-Ra: Well, it can't be all bad. We can have a pizza party!

Alien Queen: PARRRTAY!

See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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