Achu vs. Invizable vs. Jack Fury vs. Fire-Arm

In Amset-Ra's Office...

Dr. Inferno: Hehehe... This is my most evil scheme yet!

Dr. Inferno picks up Tee-Vee's Season 3 Announcer contract and places it into a paper shredder.

Paper Shredder: HELLO! WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHRED THIS PIECE OF PAPER?

Dr. Inferno: Gah! I didn't know that paper shredders could talk!

Paper Shredder: WELL HERE I AM!

Dr. Inferno: Shh! Why are you so happy and loud?

Paper Shredder: BEING A PAPER SHREDDER IS A VERY REWARDING CAREER CHOICE!

Dr. Inferno: I'm getting out of here...

Dr. Inferno: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! I'm your host, Dr. Inferno!

Terabyte: Today, for the first time in forever, we have a match full of Season 1 fighters! Also, each of our fighters in this match has previously been victorious in at least one battle!

Toxikita: I'm the referee!

Invizable: I guess that is the position for people who lost the Season Finale.

Dr. Inferno: First, in the Red Corner, the tribal chieftain, Achu!

Audience: AAAAAAAAAA-CHUUUUUUUU!

Terabyte: I guess the fans are sick of you, wouldn't you say, Achu?

Achu: In fact, that is simply their cheer in support of me.

Dr. Inferno: In that case, I'd venture to say that you're as popular as a well-known sentient television.

Terabyte: In a recent poll, Achu was ranked 3 points higher than Tee-Vee in terms of popularity.

Priest of the Tee-Vee: BLASPHEMY! SINNER! YOU WILL GO TO GELL!

Terabyte: Oh, I get it, Gell, as in O-gell.

Amset-Ra: NO! PLEASE! DON'T SEND ME THERE!

Audience: SAVE US, GOD OF SNEEZING!

Achu: In the name of my Sun Disk, I- A- A- A-CHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

The Priest flies out of the arena.

Priest of the Tee-Vee: HE... WILL... HAVE... OUR... REVENGE!!!

Amset-Ra: I believe I may have to officially convert to Achuism.

Dr. Inferno: Next, in the Yellow Corner, our Season 1 Champion, Invizable!

Invizable: Oh, watch out, Toxie is a little touchy about the subject of winning.

Toxikita: I'LL POISON YOUR WATER SUPPLY FOR THAT!

Dr. Inferno: Or, you know, we could talk about Jack Fury, in the Green Corner!

Jack Fury: If you succeed, then fail, fail again, and finally fail - fourth time's the charm!

Terabyte: Wyldstyle, Mace Windu, Buggoid, Alien, Grundalychus, and Toxikita all lost their fifth battle.

Jack Fury: Well, I'm better than all of them!

Dr. Inferno: We'll see about that... Finally, in the Blue Corner, Fire-Arm!

Fire-Arm: Let's beat these guys! Yeah!

Dr. Inferno: As was expected, my useless ex-henchman still has no fans. Now, let's move to our awards! Sir Fangar will be presenting the award for minifigure of the week, while Pythor will be presenting the award for user of the week.

Sir Fangar: The gloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorious minifigure of the week is Johnny Thunder!

Johnny Thunder: Thank you, I do try - AHHHHH!!!!!

Fans chase Johnny Thunder out of the arena.

Pythor: The usssssssser of the week issssssssss Punctuasssssssshun Penguin! Oh, he issssssssn't here? Then I'll jussssst have to keep the award to myssssssssself!

Dr. Inferno: Prediction, Traitor?

Terabyte: Well, Achu has a 50% winning record, Invizable has won 75% of his matches, Jack Fury has a 25% success record, and Fire-Arm is no better than the Ultra Agent. However, Invizable has garnered both of his losses in his most recent battles. If we look at the last three battles for each fighter, then-

Dr. Inferno: And the prediction is...

Terabyte: I'm not done my statistical analysis yet!

Dr. Inferno: Krait isn't done cooking a strawberry pizza either!

Krait: Um, actually -

Terabyte: Invizable!

Audience: BOO!!!!!!!! A-CHUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Inferno: Hey, they hate you as much as we do! Toxie?

Toxikita: Fight!

GOOOOOOONG!

Invizable: Something you can't do!

Jack Fury: And something that I can do! Hopefully!

Fire-Arm: You won't be able to do anything once my army of sentient spaceships blasts you into smithereens!

Benny: SAVE THE SPACESHIPS! SAVE THE SPACESHIPS! SPACESHIPS!

A herd of cows comes into the arena and escorts the spaceships out of the pyramid.

Dr. Inferno: It appears that the latest political movement by our resident astronaut has been a success. Meanwhile, Jack Fury is suffering at the hands of someone invisible!

Frenzy: WHO!?!?!

Wyldstyle: Jack Fury.

Frenzy: Why's he hitting HIMSELF?!!?!?!

Wyldstyle: I quit.

Jack Fury: You can't hide forever, invisible man! Your identity will be revealed soon enough!

Dr. Inferno: This is depressing.

Toxikita: It's INVIZABLE!

Jack Fury: I know that it's invisible, but WHO is it?

Solomon Blaze: Why did you hire him?

Professor Hydron: I didn't. Agent Bolt was in charge of hiring that day.

Dr. Inferno: Meanwhile, another disappointing employee is being useless.

Fire-Arm: HIDE ME! THE COWS ARE ANGRY!

Invizable: Alright, enough playing around.

PewPew!

Jack Fury: Ha ha! My Ultra Armour has protected me!

Dr. Infailure: And that's - TERRY!!!!!!!!

Terry: Yes?

Dr. Ineptitude: OTHER TERRY!!!!!!!!

Terabyte: Sorry!

Dr. Inferno: Better. Now, while I was busy being harassed by Traitor, Fire-Arm found himself confronted with a dilemma.

Cows: MOO.

Dr. Inferno: He's surrounded by cows.

PewPew!

Cows: MOO!

Dr. Inferno: After two invisible bullets frightened them, the cows ran off. And now, Invizable has faded back into visibility!

Invizable: Fire-Arm, let's team up!

Fire-Arm: Sure!

Dr. Inferno: WHAT?! Are both of you STUPID?! You're going to betray each other!

Amset-Ra: Stop Frenzying.

Achu: A-CHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jack Fury: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Dr. Inferno: Jack Fury tried to sneak behind a pillar, but Achu's sneeze knocked both him and the pillar far out of the arena.

Amset-Ra: Dad, I need a new pillar!

Pharaoh Hotep: Those aren't cheap!

Toxikita: Jack Fury is eliminated!

Invizable: That must bring back some bad memories. Such as the time you were eliminated.

Toxikita: Well, just hold your horses, because-

PewPew!

Toxikita: -or... Um... Never mind. Fire-Arm is eliminated.

Dr. Inferno: Toxikita was about to reveal Fire-Arm's attempted surprise attack, but Invizable calmly eliminated his former ally, who never actually did anything for him. That also eliminated Toxikita's attempt at an insult.

Achu: A-

Pop!

Invizable: Better?

Achu: Much. That medicine really works quickly.

Invizable: Good. So do I.

Pew pew!

Toxikita: Achu is eliminated...

Invizable: Sorry about that, your holiness.

Achu: No, no worries. I'll beat you in Round 3!

Audience: A-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Inferno: Well, it looks like Invizable is the winner. Oh, and Toxie has just quit. Ah, she'll be back soon enough. That's the sum of it, my friends! Invizable is now the first fighter to have won a match in three different seasons!

Amset-Ra: Come back next week to watch the Season 1 Champion pummel the Season 2 Runner Up, the most famous adventurer ever (After Indiana Jones, Johnny Thunder, and any one else more famous than Clutch Powers), and that former fire fighter!

End Transmission

See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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