Polka Dot Man vs. Chirrut Imwe

Amset-Ra is in his office, surfing the web with help from the Surfer Dude.

Surfer Dude: Yo, you might want to check out this bodacious page here.

Amset-Ra: The LEGO Message Boards? All right, then.

''He clicks the link, and suddenly, WhiteAlligator appears on the screen. She is wearing the traditional black cloak and hood of supervillains.''

WhiteAlligator: Mwahahaha! I would like to inform my viewers that I am going to shut down the LEGO Message Boards. Permmently. So where are all those awesome users - skulduggery, AwesomePythor, diglett - going to go now? Oh, and if you want to stay brainwashed by us, there's always this LEGO Life thingy coming out soon. Bye!

Amset-Ra: Oh no. I've gotta do something. Oh, I know!

He posts the notice on the forums about LEGO Message Boards 2.0.

...

Amset-Ra: All right, enough with these silly intros! The cancellation of the LEGO Message Boards is supposed to be sad, and yet our author finds humor in this situaution!

Anubis Guard: There's always LEGO Life.

Amset-Ra: Oh. Right. Off to LEGO Life!

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! Once again, we have gotten complaints from the Adventurers, saying that Amset-Ra should have been dead long ago. Oh, and that Re-Gou Ruby has been causing local power outages. Fortunately, our power didn't go out due to the forty generators we ordered from Brickmart.

Meanwhile...

Hypaxxus-5: Ooba kahli ugsah sleebo. (Editor's Note: It's a wonder we are able to translate this.)

TC-17: The most exalted Hypaxxus-5 states that it was brilliant of him to disguise his Alien Troopers as generators.

Amset-Ra: Guess again. They're real generators.

He plugs in the cord, then unplugs it again and opens one of the generators to reveal Alien Trooper soup.

Amset-Ra: Nice try, Paxie. My pyramid is conquer-proof.

The cords are plugged in again.

Back at the match...

Wyldstyle: Let's get down to business! In the Red Corner... nothing? I can only see lots of dots.

Polka Dot Man: Hey! I'm right here.

Wyldstyle: That's what you get for infesting us with puns. In the Blue Corner, the only hope who can stop the evil forces of puns and the Empire, Chirrut Imwe!

Chirrut: Repeat after me: I am one with the Force and the Force is strong with me. But I am not a Jedi. Yet.

Polka Dot Man: Don't tell me you not only plagiarized Vader's line from The Empire Strikes Back, but also didn't see your own movie! Also, to be one with the Force, you need to be dead. And I can make that happen!

Chirrut: Said the guy who calls his pajamas a supervillain costume.

Polka Dot Man: Now you're really making me mad! Guys, forget the analysis, it's in my favor anyway!

KRAKOOM!

Cloud of Monstrox: Brilliant! Simply brilliant! I've waited a painstakingly long time to strike down an annoying minifigure! Not counting the Nexo Knights, of course. And now, on to my prediction. Looking back on Polka Dot Man, it's a wonder that he was able to keep a rebel droid from instant access to the third round. In fact, many of his spots are glued to the new supervillain costume we gave him. As for Chirrut Imwe, he has what it takes to obliterate this eyesore of a villain.

Jestro: I'm going with Polka.

CoM: Get back in there, pestilence!

Amset-Ra: (who had just come back in) Excellent prediction!

Polka Dot Man: I think not.

Amset-Ra: Does someone not agree with me?

Polka Dot Man: Oh! Uh... I agree with you 100%!

Amset-Ra: Good.

Tee-Vee: Battle:start.

Polka Dot Man: Since I know you can't win, Mr. MaGoo, I think I'll toy with you a bit. Red Dots!

Woosh!

Wyldstyle: Polka threw a pair of sawblades at his opponent, who dodged. He probably used the Force.

Chirrut: Just because I'm blind does not mean I'm defenseless. Check out this bow, for example. I made it especially for you.

Polka Dot Man: Why thank y-

ZARK!

Polka Dot Man: Yaziziziziziz! Tell me that isn't a joke gift!

Chirrut: Okay, then. It isn't a joke gift.

Polka Dot Man: Phew!

Chirrut: Besides, it's not even a gift?

Polka Dot Man: I don't care! How much dirt can you put into a dimensional hole?

Whooosh...

Chirrut: This isn't funnnnnyyyyyyy...

Tee-Vee: Winner: Polka Dot Man.

Wyldstyle: Now that was an awesomely lame battle! Polka Dot Man threw a black dot at Chirrut, and he has disappeared into a dimensional hole.

Jestro: May I come out now?

CoM: I humbly and graciously deny your request.

Amset-Ra: How would you like to be part of the staff?

CoM: Count me in.

Amset-Ra: Happies!

Tee-Vee: Transmission:end.

See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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