Weeping Angel vs. Scooby-Doo

Amset-Ra is attempting to take a selfie while riding the Sharkanator backward.

Amset-Ra: It's possible, I assure you!

Suddenly, just as he takes his picture, he is stopped by Axel.

Axel: You might want to see what's going on outside...

Amset-Ra gets off the Sharkanator and looks out the window.

Amset-Ra: Protesters?

Axel: But not just any old protesters.

Amset-Ra: I see... They're all Old Republic Jedi!

Protesters: END THE IRONY! END THE IRONY! END THE IRONY!

Amset-Ra: What irony?

Axel: It's actually kinda hard to explain, but I'll do it as best as I can. *ahem* As you know, Star Wars: The Last Jedi is coming out next month.

Amset-Ra: I already saw it. *Censored for spoilers*

Axel: Ah. Since we're kinda in a mixed continuity, there really isn't a "last" Jedi, which causes irony. Why they're protesting here, I don't know.

Protesters: IT'S BECAUSE THIS IS THE CENTRAL HUB OF AMSET-RA'S FIGHTING PYRAMID!

Amset-Ra: What a crowd. Even Mace Windu and Yoda are here. But wait. I don't see Anakin or Obi-Wan.

Axel: I think they're smacking around some combat robots with laser swords or something.

Amset-Ra: Sounds fun. They should make it an Olympic sport.

Axel: Totally.

Amset-Ra: And now that our required fourth-wall breaking parody is done, we can head to our very weird and ironic fight today:

WEEPING ANGEL VS. SCOOBY-DOO

Amset-Ra: We put up posters and everything.

Dr. Inferno enters.

Dr. Inferno: Anything that holds the image of an angel is itself an angel.

Amset-Ra: That's ridiculous! That only happens in fiction!

Dr. Inferno: You might want to look behind you and not blink for a while.

''He takes a few steps backward, then flees. Amset-Ra sees that a Weeping Angel has come out of one of the posters.''

Amset-Ra: This doesn't happen in the real world! Corona!

BZZZZZZZNNNNNN SHATTER!

Dr. Inferno returns.

Dr. Inferno: Something about the real world?

Amset-Ra: Boot awkward_moment.exe. Cue the battle!

Wyldstyle: Welcome to-

CRASH!

Lloyd: Help! Dad's gone bad again!

Amset-Ra: You're just thinking of The LEGO Ninjago Movie.

Lloyd: No! And he had KIDS! All boys. And one of them is as big as Dogshank!

Amset-Ra: You should stop looking at leaked LEGO sets.

Wyldstyle: But you do it all the time...

Amset-Ra: Wait! We're supposed to have only one LEGO current events parody per battle!

Wyldstyle: But that rule isn't reinforced... O-kayyyyy! Wow, we seem to have one weird match today! Let's roll out our emoji reaction chart!

Emoji Reaction Chart: 52% 😧; 21% 😕; 20% 😬; 5% 😴; 2% Misc.

Wyldstyle: So there you have it! The 😧's have it! Don't ask me how to pronounce 😧, because this is a written battle. Right, then! In the Red Corner, behold the statue who will come to haunt your nightmares tonight, Weeping Angel!

Audience: WEEPING ANGEL! WEEPING ANGEL!

Tenth Doctor Audio Recording: Don't. Blink.

Wyldstyle: Cool. In the Blue Corner, the only dog in the world with pantophobia, Scooby-Doo!

Scooby-Doo: Ruh-roh! Reeping Rangel!

Amset-Ra: Nice try, Camille. Scooby ain't that talkative.

Camille: You somehow manage to see through every form I take...

''She leaves. The real Scooby-Doo enters the arena, and cowers in the corner at the sight of the Weeping Angel.''

Wyldstyle: Should we just call it now?

Amset-Ra: Nah. Hey, aren't we supposed to have a referee and predictor?

Wyldstyle: How 'bout Ogel?

Amset-Ra: NO.

Wyldstyle: Frenzy?

Frenzy: Here I am to PREDICT!!!!!!!! I think the titular dog will win!

Amset-Ra: I get a kick out of joke predictions. Okay, who's our ref?

Pythor: I guessssssss it'ssssssss me. Fight!

Sir Fangar: You can't have a Pythor appearance without me!

Pythor: But you were introduccccced a full two yearssssss after me.

Scooby: *whimper whimper*

Wyldstyle: Scooby is whimpering in the corner. Its a wonder the Weeping Angel isn't coming for his soul right now. Oh wait, he's turning to the angel now.

Scooby: Ruh?

Blink!

Scooby: Ruh-roh!

Shaggy: I've been wondering, why does the DOG get all the fame?

Velma: Beats me.

Daphne: So why isn't our show named for you, Fred?

Fred: Lack of creativity, I guess.

Shaggy: SCOOBY! DON'T BLINK!

Daphne: I see no possible way that Scooby can win. Should we help?

Amset-Ra: No. I wanna see how this fight's gonna unfold.

Shaggy: It's Pharaoh Hotep vs. Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Tee-Vee all over again...

Velma: Hey, you said a link! You gotta teach me how to do that!

Wyldstyle: Now Scooby is walking circles around the angel. I wonder what his game is?

Fred: Well, he sure isn't getting anything accomplished.

Daphne: Don't doubt him. He's gotten us out of more pickles than the pickle jar can hold.

Scooby: Rah-ha!

Wyldstyle: He's got an idea! But... he's removing one of the poles holding up the ropes?!

Shaggy: I sure hope Amset-Ra's got insurance...

Amset-Ra: Of course I do! Arena damage, fourth walls, Grundalychuses... zombie apocalypse...

Fred: Zombie... apocalypse...

Amset-Ra: Covered!

Fred: Wait, why am I surprised? We fight zombies all the time!

Shaggy: GO, SCOOBY! THIS OPPONENT IS NO DIFFERENT THAN THE ONES WE FOUGHT TOGETHER!

Velma: Except it's a real monster and not a guy in disguise. Plus blinking breaks its quantum lock.

Scooby: RHARRRRGE!

Woosh.

Wyldstyle: Haha! Scooby-Doo tried to charge toward the angel like a jouster, but ended up blinking in the process, causing the Weeping Angel to safely get out of the way.

Daphne: I almost pity Scooby.

Velma: Why? It is because he can't land a single hit on the Weeping Angel or because the arena damage is coming out of his allowance?

Shaggy: Wait, he has an allowance now?!

Velma: And a driver's license.

Fred: Which means he can be called for jury duty... Fine by me.

Shaggy: *shudder* You just made me picture him driving the Mystery Machine...

Daphne: Who says he hasn't?

Roll roll roll Bing!

Wyldstyle: You may as well give up now, Scooby... Rolling the ring pole at the Weeping Angel won't do anything.

Shaggy: WOO! GO SCOOBY!

Velma: But he's losing.

Daphne: We gotta help him!

Scooby: Ri rive rup.

Frenzy: Is that a SURRENDER?!?!?!?!

Sir Fangar: Indubitably.

Amset-Ra: Oh come on, Scooby, it's only been one minute and thirty-seven seconds! You've certainly got more in you.

Scooby: Really!

Daphne: Not on my watch!

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!

Wyldstyle: And Daphne has leaped into the fray, picked up the ring pole, and beat the Weeping Angel out of the arena.

Audience: AND HE WOULD HAVE WON, TOO, IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!

Shaggy: YAY SCOOBY!

Fred: Did Scooby win or did we...?

Pythor: I'm going to dissssscusssssss thisssssss with Amsssssset-Ra.

He and Amset-Ra leave.

Daphne: Why is the crowd booing? We won!

Fred: That's the problem. We won, not Scooby.

Velma: Way to go, Daphne.

Shaggy: What's the difference? Doesn't Amset-Ra allow interference?

Fred: I think it has something to do with his mood swings...

Daphne: Uh... guys? The audience is making their way down here to beat us up.

Shaggy: Cool! The action is always way better in real life than on TV!

Fred: No time for useless jokes! Run!

Amset-Ra and Pythor return.

Amset-Ra: Ladies and gentlemen and not-so-gentle men, thank you for your wait. I know all some of you want to pulverize Scooby-Doo's comrades for defeating the Weeping Angel for Scooby, but you'll want to hear what Pythor has to say.

He hands the microphone to Pythor.

Pythor: I declare Weeping Angel the rightful winner.

Scooby: Gasp!

Fred: Let's get outta here, gang! We'll come back later and solve this mystery once and for all!

Scooby: Rat's right!

Velma: Who knew this pyramid was home to a host of monsters?

Daphne: I'll get you, Pythor, for ruling in favor of a statue!

Shaggy: I LOVE YOU, SCOOBY!

''They leave. Amset-Ra is beaming.''

Amset-Ra: Monstrox will be so proud when I tell him I made more monsters...

Daphne: Guys, I'm going to found a club.

Shaggy: Ooh! Can I be part of it?

Daphne: No.

Shaggy: *whine* Why not?

Daphne: You don't qualify. I'm going to call my club the DIC, or Denied Interference Club. I've already texted Tails, Emmet, Wyldstyle, and Unikitty, and we're going to meet tomorrow morning for our first sacred DIC ceremony.

Fred: Wow. Didn't know you guys really want to interfere.

Daphne: Actually, only two of us are "guys".

Velma: Daphne, what are you doing? Your club is creating a rift between us!

Daphne: The only rift around here is a dimensional rift, and I've had enough of those.¹

¹From LEGO Dimensions!

Fred: So... There are three cases that minifigures want to intefere with the match on behalf of their friends; specifically, Benny vs. AntiMatter, Pharaoh Hotep vs. Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Tee-Vee, and the latest match; and you are now founding a club to express your feelings?

Daphne: You bet. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish printing the DIC posters.

She walks off a cliff .

Fred: When did she suddenly change personality?

Shaggy: Did she? I'm too busy playing The LEGO Ninjago Movie game to notice.

Velma: Boys these days...

''In loving memory of Heather North (1945-2017), the voice of Daphne. You will be dearly missed.''

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