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|This is the seventh battle in Season 3... I think.|
|Season 3, Round 1, Battle 7 (93rd battle overall)|
|Written by NexoByte on April 17, 2016|
Anyone who owns 7691 Alien Mothership Assault can and will be punished for stealing her mothership.
Nominated by NexoByte
He knows you're reading this right now.
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
...Third time's the charm, right?
Nominated by NexoByte
The Skull Twins
Hey, their cousin Craniac is also fighting in this match! I just love family reunions, don't you?
Nominated by Commandosaur
Before the Battle
At the Axle Bar & Grill...
TV: After many caucuses and primaries, there are now three candidates for each party. Curtis Bolt, Fire-Arm, and Lord Business remain for the Jedi, while the remaining Sith candidates are Squidman, Lord Garmadon, and Unikitty. Right now, Unikitty is holding a rally. Let's listen in.
Unikitty: There will be peace and happiness for everyone!
Unikitty: There will also be a 100% tax for every unemployed pirate!
Metalbeard storms onto the stage.
Metalbeard: I be not unemployed, thank ye. Landlubbers! This be me first appearance since I lost to Antiwhatsit back in Season 1!
Unikitty: You did terrible back then. Who's going to vote you back in?
Metalbeard: Emmet! I always knew you would stand up for me!
Emmet: Me! Me! Pick me! Pick me!
Metalbeard: Lovable Emmet, such a dope. Well, I'm off.
Bob: That was... well... strange. Meanwhile, there is also a conspiracy going on at Fire-Arm HQ.
Fire-Arm: Hey! That's my speech!
Fire-Arm Campaign Manager: You know, Sith do lie and steal...
Bob: Back to you, Bill.
Bill: And in other news...
Slizer: I wish Tee-Vee was running.
Kranxx: He can.
Kranxx: He's got legs.
Slizer: But, but-
Kranxx: And a hard drive.
Slizer: But, but, but-
Kranxx: Dude. Enough with the motorboat imitation.
As the camera pans out, we see Nadakhan granting minifigures three witches each. (He definitely needs to get his ears checked.)
Amset-Ra: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! We brought back some of the old staff today, but because of popular demand, Dr. Inferno and Axel have been replaced by Wyldstyle and Tee-Vee.
Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!
Amset-Ra: That's popular demand for you. Take it away, Wyldstyle.
Wyldstyle: Welcome, ladies and not-so-gentle men! Today we have yet another match here at the Fighting Pyramid-
Amset-Ra: What do you mean, "yet another match"?
Wyldstyle: You know, it's been forever since we went on a tour. I remember the surprise ambush in India...
Sir Fangar: IT'S THE GLOOOOOORIOUS TYGURAH!
Amset-Ra: Yeah, that was scary stuff. But that wasn't part of the tour.
Wyldstyle: I know. Hey, we should go to the Portal of Atlantis again...
Portal Emperor: We boast unforgettable scenery, four flights of stairs, a dungeon, a library, a planning room, real shark statues, and of course, the portal which leads to Atlantis.
AntiMatter: THAT IS, UNTIL I REPROGRAMMED IT.
Portal Emperor: You WHAT?!
AntiMatter: YES, I DID WHAT.
Wyldstyle: Hey, that's me!
Amset-Ra: Yup. You were the best announcer in your day.
Amset-Ra: Yeah, but the audience likes Tee-Vee more. Let's see what they have to say about it.
Audience: START THE MATCH ALREADY!
Amset-Ra: Yeah, start the match already.
Amset-Ra: But announce the fighter first.
Wyldstyle: Iiiiiiin the Red Corner, don't mess with this one, because you're about to get clocked! Here to make you rue the day, it's ALIEN QUEEN!
Alien Queen: Make way for your queen. The last match will be the first of many wins for me.
Wyldstyle: Iiiiiiin the Green Corner, the assassin was was going to get his own movie, but thanks to an April Fools joke, it was cancelled! Here today, gone tomorrow, it's DEADPOOL!
Deadpool: I wish it weren't an April Fools joke. You'd best not let your guard down, because nothing stands in the way of Deadpool!
Wyldstyle: Iiiiiiin the Blue Corner, two heads are better than one, and these guys are going to prove it. Look out, here come the SKULL TWINS!
Skull Twin 1: You'd better watch your backs.
Skull Twin 2: Because we're-
Both: The Skull Twins!
Wyldstyle: And also Craniac is here.
Craniac: That's IT?!
Wyldstyle: What else does an unranked, 0-2 fighter deserve?
Amset-Ra: A CORONA!
The beam bounces off of Craniac's head, Deadpool's swords, and the announcer's booth, and smashes through the wall, and sears through the lock on the Alien Queen's ship, opening the door. Minifigures stream towars it, but run into an invisible force field.
Alien Queen: I took extra measures in case something like this happened.
Amset-Ra: For those of you who are listening on the radio, our predictor, Ogel, is tied to a chair, with the angler fish from 7978 Angler Attack sitting behind him. If he guesses wrong, he'll be "touched by an angler!"! Guess away.
Ogel: Only if you remove this angler. I'm not about to get shocked by its lure.
Ogel: Fine. Deadpool will win, because Queen Hypothermia's IQ is dropping, and the other three have thick heads.
Alien Queen: That's Hypogirtis, and my IQ is around 300, thank you.
Amset-Ra: With that, you may start the battle, Tee-Vee.
Tee-Vee: Run battle.exe.
Deadpool: If you think you can beat me, you are gravely mistaken... emphasis on grave.
Alien Queen: Whatever. Hyvak! Get your forces over here! Formation 5!
Wyldstyle: Just like old times... As the Aliens stack onto each other, Hypogirtis uses the stack as a sword, sweeping Craniac and the Skull Twins off their feet.
Craniac: I will not lose again! Construct!
Wyldstyle: Craniac tried to build his ship, but Deadpool tore it down.
Skull Twin 2: Two heads are better than one!
Skull Twin 1: What he said!
Deadpool: Yeah, but two thick heads aren't as good as one good head. Whoa!
Wyldstyle: Deadpool was preoccupied with the Skull Twins, and he almost didn't see the Alien Queen's alien sword!
Skull Twin 1: Since when did Aliens make metal sound effects?
Skull Twin 2: Since when were Aliens used as a sword?
Alien Queen: Since my battle with Griffin Turner and Invizable.
Deadpool: Get a load of this, Queenie!
Alien Queen: No thanks. You can have it back.
Wyldstyle: Alien Queen and Deadpool are battling it out with swords! As Hyvak steps out of the way, it looks like Alien Queen has a big advantage here.
Wyldstyle: And Craniac finally built his ship.
Skull Twin 2: Why not build our ship?
Skull Twin 1: And hijack the Space Police ship from the same set.
Skull Twin 2: Yeah!
Deadpool: It will take a lot more than that to beat me!
Alien Queen: Luckily for you, I have "a lot more than that".
Wyldstyle: Alien Queen built a miniature ETX Alien Infiltrator and threw it at Deadpool, doing nothing.
Alien Queen: Nothing? You know nothing at all. Right now, he is breaking out with Grundalitis.
Deadpool: Silent fright... Wholly frightened... All is quivering... All is in fright...
Craniac: Goodbye, Deadpool.
Wyldstyle: Is Deadpool... out?
Tee-Vee: Data not found.
Alien Queen: Now that Deadpool is out of the way, I have... Oh... Well... Craniac is gone... Well, goodbye, Skull Twins.
Alien Queen: Oh boy... Hovok! The fleet!
Hovok: Right away.
Amset-Ra: Not another fleet...
Insert many blaster sounds here.
Wyldstyle: Well, there ho the Skull Twins.
Tee-Vee: Skull Twins: Eliminated.
Alien Queen: Have I won already?
Tee Vee: Craniac: Eliminated = False.
Craniac: Up here, Your Worship!
Wyldstyle: Is that a ring out, Tee-Vee?
Tee-Vee: False. Position: Directly above ring.
Alien Queen: Get down here, and I will bring you to your knees.
Amset-Ra: Stan Lee! How long's it been, buddy?
Stan Lee: It's been forever. Hey, how's Deadpool?
They glance at the smoldering crater where Deadpool used to be.
Stan Lee: Oh, that bad, huh?
Amset-Ra: Craniac! Revive Deadpool so that I can impress Stan Lee! I mean, make his day!
Alien Queen: Do as he says, Maniac. That will make my victory easier for me.
But Stan Lee has already lifted Deadpool out of the crater and rushes off with him. He opens the front door, only to see a dozen or so fangirls waiting for him to sign his autograph. He slams the door and runs back to Amset-Ra.
Stan Lee: Where's your office?
Amset-Ra: Downstairs, second door on the right.
He runs off with Deadpool.
P.I.X.A.L.: Was that Stan Lee?
Mrs. Scratchenpost: Was was he doing holding a charred Deadpool?
Trendsetter: That was like, so weird.
Mrs. Scratchenpost: I couldn't help but notice that you traded in your chihuahua for an older version of P.U.P.
Trendsetter: Yeah, I know. P.U.P. was like, all the rage as of last year. What did you say older version?
P.I.X.A.L.: You've got a v2.1 there. The lastest model is a v3.5.
Trendsetter: And now I'm like, stuck with this stone-age technology.
A burnt Alien Queen lands in front of them.
The entire Phoban fleet swoops in, abducts Alien Queen, and flies away.
Fangirls: Aaaahhh! We're being invaded!
Mr. Gold: Ahem, pardon me, where is the nearest Octan station?
Fangirls: We love you we love you we love you we love you!
Mr. Gold: I dare say it's my unlucky day...
The door slowly creaks open and Stan Lee glances out.
Stan Lee: All clear. Hey, take care of yourself, Amset-Ra.
Amset-Ra: You too.
The area is deserted except for the old model of P.U.P, which Amset-Ra brings inside and renames it H.O.R.U.S.
|<Previous Battle||Next Battle>|
|Season 3 Battles|
|Round 1||First Half: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30|
Second Half: 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67
|Round 2||First Half: 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36|
Second Half: TBD
|Round 3||First Half: 37|
Second Half: TBD