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This season is taking for-ever... And yes, this is a battle, thank you very much.
Season 3, Round 1, Battle 30 (116th battle overall)
Written by Nexobyte on March 17, 2017
The Announcer

The Referee

The Predictor

The Red Corner
Captain Brickbeard
Captain Brickbeard
Evidently piracy rules in the pyramid.

Rank 22; 2-0
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Green Corner

Nominated by
The Yellow Corner

Nominated by
The Blue Corner
Who doesn't love robot dogs?! Probably not any enemy of the Doctor. (coughapplescough)

Nominated by NexoByte

Before the Battle

In a conference room on the 46th floor in the Construction State Building in LEGO City, Amset-Ra is sitting among other minifigures.

Amset-Ra: What is this meeting about, anyway? And why is Mungus sitting at the head seat?

Karlof: Karlof don't know. Karlof thinks Mungus called this meeting.

The phone near Mungus rings. Wyldstyle, who is sitting to Mungus' left, answers it.

Wyldstyle: Hello... Yes... Yes. Mungus called this meeting about-... Okay. Bye.

She hangs up.

Wyldstyle: That was Dr. Brickenstein. In case you don't know him, he is widely acknowledged for his Grundalization of Alcoholic Spinjitzu.

Everyone spews their drinks laughing.

Amset-Ra: Its acronym is GAS!

Even Wyldstyle bursts into laughter.

The door opens, and Dr. Brickenstein, who is the Monster Scientist from CMF Series 14, enters.

Dr. Brickenstein: Why are you laughing?

Mungus: Dr. Brickenstein come to show demonstration?

Dr. Brickenstein: Indeed, indeed. Here in this jar, I have a sample of genetically modified Grundal DNA...

Mungus: Mungus has a demonstration too!

Dr. Brickenstein: Go ahead.

Amset-Ra: Wait a minute, genetically modified Grundal DNA?

Dr. Brickenstein: Yes. It's from the genetically modified Grundal that sleeps in your basement. You know, the one that sings Christmas carols. Anyway, in this other jar, I have a liquefied 10-hour video clip of Kai using Spinjitzu.

Kranxx: Does it work if the video is of Jay? Or Cole?

Dr. Brickenstein: No. It has to be this certain clip.

Karlof: How Dr. Brickenstein turn video into liquid?

Dr. Brickenstein: I burned the DVD it was on. Literally. And then used my Mad Scientists Inc. ray to turn it into a liquid. It actually has an alcoholic flavor to it.

Karlof: Karlof wanna try!

Dr. Brickenstein: No. It makes you crazy. Anyway, mix the two potions into this titanium beaker-

Zane: I have detected titanium in our midst. I must smash that beaker.


Dr. Brickenstein: Then, shake the beaker for two minutes. Remember to close the lid and keep the beaker away from children, titanium ninjas, and Karlof.

Zane and Karlof: Awwwww...

Mungus: I've finished my demonstration!

Amset-Ra: You didn't demonstrate anything!

Wyldstyle: Yeah, all you did was build a snow mammoth out of dry ice!

Dr. Brickenstein: That defies the laws of physics. You will be my test subject. Open wide.

Dr. Brickenstein pours some of the liquid down Mungus' throat. Soon, Mungus Spinjitzus blindly out the window... and is caught by a passing Smaug.

Smaug: Hitchhikers these days...

Wyldstyle: Wake up, Amset-Ra.

He wakes up.

Wyldstyle: It's time for the battle.

Amset-Ra: Yikes! It's showtime already!

He rushes through his pre-battle routine.

Amset-Ra: Remind me to cut back on pepperoni before bed...

Disclaimer: Don't drink alcohol, especially if it's been mixed with Grundal DNA and a watered-down charred DVD.

The Battle

Wyldstyle: Welcome! To! Amset-Ra's! Fightiiiiiiiiiiing Pyyyyyyyramiiiiiiiiid!

Dr. Inferno: Wow, that's the most enthusiasm I've heard out of her in a long time.

Amset-Ra: Welcome back, Doc! I didn't notice you there. Did you have a lovely time in the LEGO Worlds realm?

Dr. Inferno: Yes, I wreaked a lot of havoc there. I even evaded the agents that were there.

Amset-Ra: You mean you got to see Agent Chase?

Dr. Inferno: And Trace.

Amset-Ra: Man, you're lucky. And here we're stuck with Ogel and Jack Fury.

Wyldstyle: In the Red Corner, the two-time winner, Captain Brickbeard!

Captain Brickbeard: Tell me that be not who methinks it is in yonder corner.

Wyldstyle: I'm afraid so... In the Blue Corner, the lovable robot dog, K-9!

K-9: Affirmative, mistress. Energy levels sufficient.

Wyldstyle: And now, we bring back our old-time predictor, Axel Storm!

Axel: Wow, it's been forever since I've predicted. I mean, this job was given to Ogel and the Cloud of Monstrox. Anyway, K-9 has gotten into so many scrapes that he'll be lucky if he wins. I'm going with Brickbeard.

Captain Brickbeard: Ahem, sealubber.

Axel: Captain Brickbeard.

Captain Brickbeard: Much better, matey.

Wyldstyle: Tee-Vee?

Tee-Vee: Battle:start.


Captain Brickbeard: Be that all ye got, matey? I be having' another pegleg!

Wyldstyle: K-9 fired his trademark laser at Brickbeard's pegleg, but the captain shrugged it off and is attaching another one!

Captain Brickbeard: Now it be my turn, TARDISlubber!

K-9: Orders, master, orders!

The Doctor: I'm afraid I can't help you out, K-9. It would be cheating.

Amset-Ra: Meh, tournament interference is all the rage these days. Go ahead.

The Trendsetter winks at him.

Trendsetter: Your outfit is like, soooooo 3,500 years ago. Dude, catch up with the times already!

Amset-Ra: I have, but in different aspects of my possessions. In fact, I have a newer BrickPhone than you.

Trendsetter: So what. It's Brickphone Galaxy Note 7. I'm like, getting the 8 when it comes out.

Amset-Ra's phone ignites in his hand!

Amset-Ra: Gah! My bandages!

Trendsetter: I hope you're like, wearing a fireproof toupee like I am.

Captain Brickbeard: Ye know I can chop ye up into soup, matey. Why don't ye just give up already?

K-9: That does not compute.


Captain Brickbeard: My sword!

Wyldstyle: And K-9's beam has turned Brickbeard's sword into rubber.

Captain Brickbeard: It be a cutlass, matey!

Wyldstyle: But you said "sword" three lines ago.

Captain Brickbeard: Shiver me timbers! Wait a minute, since ye be lightweight, K-9, I'll just throw ye out of the arena.

He does just that.

Tee-Vee: Winner: Captain Brickbeard.

Captain Brickbeard: Aye! I be skipping all the Round 2 chaos!

Amset-Ra: And chaos it will be. This theater's packed, so I'll need to organize a Round 2 schedule. End transmission.

The Winner
Captain Brickbeard
Captain Brickbeard
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

How much did you enjoy Captain Brickbeard vs. K-9?

The poll was created at 03:28 on January 27, 2018, and so far 0 people voted.
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