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The Announcers: Amset-Ra, Luigi, Meta Knight, and Tails
The Referees: King Dedede and Tee-Vee
The Predictors: Peach and Knuckles
Amset-Ra: Hello, and welcome to the first-ever Crossover battle! Sure, it's been well over a year since the promos, but who cares?
Ogel: ...Is that how you treat a VIP?
Amset-Ra: Sorry. For those of you who are listening on the radio, this battle is taking place in an unused storage room in Brainstein's Lab. It's complete with booths for the staff, divided audience sections, and corners with the four series' logos. Those corners are empty right now, but the fighters will make their grand entries soon. Alright, let's begin. Today's battle category is...
Amset-Ra: That's right, all the major good guys of the four series are competing today. In the LEGO corner is the intrepid adventurer, Johnny Thunder!
Pieces of Johnny Thunder fall into his corner, and he assembles himself as the LEGO section of the audience cheers.
Johnny Thunder: G'day, mates!
Luigi: In the Mario Corner is my bro, Super Mario!
A Warp Pipe rises out of the floor of his corner, and Mario jumps out as the pipe disappears.
Mario fans: GO, GO, MARIO!
Mario: Woohoo! It's-a me, Mario!
Ogel: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Captain Obvious: Oh, what am I doing here? My ship needs me!
Amset-Ra: Ogel, what are you doing in the Kirby section? You know that's a girly game.
He moves to the LEGO section.
Meta Knight: 'Kay, in the Kirby Corner is my frenemy, Kirby!
Kirby arrives via a Warp Star.
Tails: And lastly, in the Sonic Corner, it's my favorite hero, Sonic!
A spiky ball bounces into his corner and Sonic uncurls.
Sonic: I'm ready for anything!
Sonic: Who threw that snowball? Come on now, confess! A Pinocchio nose is a dead giveaway, and so is a will!
Mr. Blizzard: ...
Daisy: Sorry about the air conditioning, folks!
Dr. Eggman: Since when did you become a mechanic?
Amset-Ra: Predictors, predict!
Peach: Oh, you know I'm voting for my hero Mario.
Knuckles: So? Sonic's my frenemy, I'm voting for Johnny Thunder.
Peach: That wimp?
Knuckles: No, Kirby's the wimp. Johnny Thunder knocked out a tiger, an emperor, a maharaja, and a sinister guy! Without any Chaos Emeralds! Or rings!
Peach: It's got to be Mario. He's saved me from Bowser at least a dozen times, from the Shroobs once, from Grodus once, and from Fawful once, and I saved myself from Count Bleck, only to become married to Bowser! I divorced him afterward.
Knuckles: But it was Bowser who rescued you from Fawful, not-
Amset-Ra: Time! Refs, do your stuff!
King Dedede: Fight or whatever!
WORB WORB WORB!
Mario: Ha! Too laaatttee-
Meta Knight: Looks like Mario is done for already! After Mario collected a Fire Flower, Kirby inhaled him and got the Fire Copy Ability!
Mario: Mph! (Get me out of here!)
Sonic: You've got some real skills, Kirbster, but will you be a match for-
Johnny: My dynamite?
Sonic: Behind you!
Johnny: What are you, Sonic the Hedgehog or something?
Sonic: That's my name, don't wear it out!
Tails: Wow! Sonic is really wailing on that walking brick!
Amset-Ra: Come on! Give him more dynamite!
Johnny: Not now, Kirby, can't you see I'm tryyyyyi-
Sonic: So it's just the two of us, puffball.
Luigi: We now switch to the Kirby's belly cam.
Amset-Ra: That's my line.
Amset-Ra: Wow. Mario looks totally weak, since his power is being drained by Kirby. Johnny is now hitting hin repeatedly with a pickaxe.
Mario: I'm not weak!
Fwoosh fwoosh fwoosh!
Meta Knight: I guess you could say there's a food fight going on inside Kirby!
Sonic: How 'bout a Sonic Spin to cure your ailments!
Meta Knight: What's this?! Kirby is deflating! Now Mario and Johnny Thunder are escaping, but Mario just shoved Johnny back inside the deflated Kirby. Now he's roasting them both.
Peach: Looks like both Johnny Thunder and Kirby are eliminated! I win the bet!
Knuckles: Argh! You win the bet!
Peach: Told you so.
Sonic: How 'bout an invincibility challenge!
Mario: You're on!
Luigi: With only Mario and Sonic remaining, Mario is seeking out a Super Star, while Sonic is looking for 50 rings.
Mario: Found it!
Tails: With Star in hand, Mario is rushing toward Sonic at breakneck speed and- oh, that's gotta hurt! Sonic is down!
Luigi: Way to go, Bro!
Knuckles: Foul! Sonic didn't finish gathering the rings!
Peach: He didn't have to. Mario, you're my hero!
Mario: It was simple, really. All I needed to find was one Super Star, while Sonic had to look for fifty rings. Fifty.
Amset-Ra: Way to go, Mario. Peach, Knuckles, you took the refs' jobs. You're suspended for the next match. Viewers, let us know in the comments below what you thought about the battle, and maybe, just maybe, there'll be another one of these. Just saying. Fans, stay tuned for the next Crossover Battle when the category will be...
Amset-Ra: End transmission or whatever.