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"Such a handsome wiki."

"I don't go for boring... anymore!"

"That's all right. I prefer battles."
Season 3, Round 1, Battle 25 (111th battle overall)
Written by Nexobyte on January 20, 2017
The Announcer

The Referee

The Predictor

The Red Corner
Children, don't watch Star Wars. They encourage rebellion against authority. Not to mention their robots (and Gungans) are annoying...

Rank 33; 1-0
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Green Corner

Nominated by
The Yellow Corner

Nominated by
The Blue Corner
Kite Man
Kite Man
I mean, who doesn't love kites? Who doesn't want himself to be strapped to a giant wingsuit to annoy your enemies?

Nominated by Punctuation Penguin

Before the Battle

Amset-Ra is on his computer.

Amset-Ra: Gotta win this blog war!

SuperKing11: I can beat you any day, SE!
ShadowEmperor: You underestimate my colossal power. I can bench-press all the skyscrapers of LEGO City and still not break a sweat.
SuperKing11: Oh yeah? Well, I can shoot lasers out of my headdress! Beat that!
ShadowEmperor: *tries to suppress a laugh* Is that all you can do, boy? I can also throw the Pluuvian mothership like a frisbee.
SuperKing11: And why would you do that?
ShadowEmperor: Uh...
SuperKing11: Ha! I win!

Amset-Ra: Ahhh... this is the life... I take great pleasure in dominating the internet blogs.

An Anubis Guard runs in.

Anubis Guard: Mr. Ra-

Amset-Ra: What is it? Can't you see I'm trying to be king of the internet?

Anubis Guard: It's Toa Okoto Anuba and his clan. They've returned.

Amset-Ra: You mean that pile of junk I built like almost a year ago?

Anubis Guard: Yes! He's complaining that his theme was retired. He's filed the most lawsuits against the Turaga for petitioning The LEGO Group to retire his theme.

Amset-Ra: Who's doing the second most complaining?

Anubis Guard: Kopapa. He didn't finish his fight with the Storm Beast. Akaida is number three on the complaining list because he didn't think he appeared on camera often enough.

Amset-Ra: Oh, for the love of bricks... let him in. And I suppose you want to know why you're appearing the most out of my minions? It's because I don't trust Mummies and Flying Mummies anymore, especially since Flying Mummies carry spears, which are also carried by Skeleton Drone, who just so happen to serve... sigh... Ogel.

Soon, Anuba, Vakum, and the Protector of Sand are let in.

Anuba: My theme was retired... and I'm not even around for a year yet...

Amset-Ra: NEXOBYTE!!!!!! Why are we talking about BIONICLE when we're supposed to be talking about the awesome new LEGO Batman Movie!!!!!!!

Sigh... Take 2...

Amset-Ra: Uh... Hey, Batman. Why does Robin look like a geek, and the Joker like a freak?

Batman: I thought the same thing. Am I the only character in the movie who actually looks normal?

Amset-Ra: Then there's all your variants...

Batman: I should have thought of that.

Amset-Ra: NEXOBYTE!!!!!!!!

What is it now?

Amset-Ra: This. Intro. Is. POINTLESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Moving on...

The Battle

Wyldstyle: Welcome back to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! Before we start, Amset-Ra would like to have a word for one of our staff.

Amset-Ra: Ladies and gentlemen, that wasn't me in the Before the Battle section. Frenzy impersonated me, just like he impersonated that Venusian, as seen in The LEGO Book.

The Venusian enters.


All eyes turn to Frenzy.

Frenzy: Whatever it is, I didn't do it!

Venusian: You obviously didn't read The LEGO Book.

The Space Police arrive and arrest Frenzy.

Frenzy: Gah! I have SpacePoliceophobia!!!!!!!!!

Amset-Ra: *in a theatrical voice* And peace has been restored to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid. *normal voice* Carry on.

Wyldstyle: In the Red Corner, this time without his VR, is K-2SO!

K-2SO: I miss my virtual reality games.

Wyldstyle: That's because Dr. Inferno won't let you play them anymore. Not after the last match. In the Blue Corner, under that crate of kites, Kite Man!


K-2SO: Might I ask why you are under that crate of kites?

Kite Man: For protection, mostly. Oh wait, I've got my new bulletproof flight kite. Hey, I rhymed!

Amset-Ra: Sigh, yet another incompetent licensed fighter...

Ogel: Since you haven't called on me, I select Kite Man. Tee-Vee, start us off.

Priest of the Tee-Vee: Making demands of the most authentic Tee-Vee, are we? O most noble Tee-Vee, I beseech you to please start us off.

Tee-Vee: Battle:start.

K-2SO: Contacting the Rebellion now.

Kite Man: Hey, isn't that against the rules?

Amset-Ra: Meh, mass backup and interference is a common sight these days, and nobody does anything about it. Go ahead.

Kite Man: Sweet freedom!

He readies his kite.

Jyn Erso: I came as soon as I called! What do you need?

K-2SO: I need assistance in eliminating this threat.

Jyn Erso: Not my favorite comic book hero!

Kite Man: Ahem. I'm a villain.

He swoops at K-2SO, knocking him to the ground. He then draws a kite-shaped penknife.

Kite Man: This is to disable you. I was too lazy to grab a screwdriver.

K-2SO: Self-destructing now.

Kite Man: Wait, WHAT?


Kite Man: Ah!

???: I laugh at yor stupidity.

Kite Man: Who-?

???: It is I, K-2SO! You fell for my mirage!

Jyn Erso: Cleverly planned by me!

Baze Malbus: No! I did it!

Kite Man: How did you-?

K-2SO: If you had looked closely, you would have seen shorter arms.

Kite Man: I can still win, you know.

He tries to swoop at K-2SO, but falls flat on the ground because his kite is damaged in the explosion.

K-2SO: Quoting celebrity Darth Vader: "I have you now."

Kite Man: Not quite.

He detaches his kite and binds K-2SO.

Kite Man: Now I have you!


Kite Man: Noooo!

Tee-Vee: Ring out. Winner: K-2SO.

Wyldstyle: Apparently the second K-2SO was also a mirage, sending the metal kite into Kite Man, causing him to stumble out of the arena!

Jyn Erso: Actually, that was not a mirage. Time to repair him...

She puts the pieces of K-2SO in a wheelbarrow and leaves.

Jyn Erso: (calling over over shoulder) He should be fixed by next week!

Amset-Ra: Now that was an awesome match!

Wyldstyle: Really? I thought this match was self-explanatory.

After the Battle

Kite Man: I can't believe I could lose so easily to a robot! I'm starting the CFC - the Cheated Fighter Club, for fighters who feel that their opponents cheated to win. I'll get to work on the flyers...

Mantizoid: I'll join. Frenzy got help to beat me last season.

Cole: That Alien Commander should be disqualified!

Curtis Bolt: Space Villain was beaten, but he wasn't really beaten because of his army!

Kite Man: I'll be your president! I think I'll start a new division - CVQ - The Cheated vs. the Queen! How many of you feel that Queen Harkinian is cheating?

Griffin Turner, The Fierce Flame, Craniac, and Clutch Powers raise their hands.

Kite Man: Good! Let's go stop this monster!

They all leave.

Kite Man: No, this is not a megastory like the TARDIS saga, but rather we're just another group - like the VCE. I should consider joining that group!

The Winner
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

How much did you enjoy K-2SO vs. Kite Man?

The poll was created at 03:26 on January 27, 2018, and so far 0 people voted.
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