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Pushover. No really. Train conductors don't really tend to defeat---

This transmission has been terminated for bias against one or more fighters.
Season 3, Round 1, Battle 42 (135th battle overall)
Written by NexoByte on September 16, 2018
The Announcer

The Referee

The Predictor

The Red Corner
Lord Vladek
Lord Vladek
Who knew someone stuck in medieval times would so quickly adapt to our technology?

Rank 37; 1-0
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Green Corner

Nominated by
The Yellow Corner

Nominated by
The Blue Corner
Conductor Charlie
Conductor Charlie
Losing my train of thought on this one...

Nominated by Weasel23

Before the Battle

Amset-Ra is on the phone with Pythor.

Amset-Ra: Really? ... I didn't know they showed interest in Ninjago's past... Yeah, I hope it gets you more recognition... What? No, it can't have anything to do with Garmadon's campaign... Yeah, we'll talk later about this... Sounds good. Bye.

He hangs up.

Amset-Ra: The strange thing about phone conversations is that the person they're following never give the other person enough time to talk. Yet they get all the information. Weird...

He looks at his enemy list.

Amset-Ra: Ogel... Nexo Knights... Frenzy... Spyclops... Jar Jar... Classic Alien... wait, why is he there? Oh yeah...


Ogel: Fight!


Amset-Ra: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! Who brought the gong in and let Ogel out of the dungeon?!

Classic Alien: ...

Amset-Ra: Mm-hmm. Thought so. Corona!


Classic Alien: ...!!


Amset-Ra: Okay then. Classic Alien is automatically an enemy in my book. It's about time he appeared again.

Dr. Inferno enters.

Dr. Inferno: Mr. Ra, the anti-Frenzy hair security hair tie is almost done.

Amset-Ra: Good. Not only will it keep Wyldstyle safe, but it will also save me the trouble of killing off that meme.

Dr. Inferno: Yeah. NexoByte is gonna have to do a count of how many times her hair was stolen in the battles alone.

Amset-Ra: Just why does he think her hair is magical?

Frenzy: Because. It's. MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And glorious!

Sir Fangar: The word "gloooooorious" is now copywritten by Ice Hunters Publishing, Inc. You may not use "glooooorious" in any way, shape, or form without the express written permission of the gloooooooorious Sir Fangar.

Amset-Ra: Oh, so now it's copywritten?

Sir Fangar: Always was.

Amset-Ra: The nonexistent paperwork doesn't prove it.

Sir Fangar: Bah! Who needs paperwork when you'e got a glooooooorious Saber-Tooth walker and an army at your beck and call?

Amset-Ra: That's the spirit!

Sir Fangar: Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go prepare myself for my glooooorious Overwatch debut.

Amset-Ra: You're in Overwatch?!

Sir Fangar: Yes, isn't it gloooorious? Even Minecraft pales in comparison to gloooooorious game that is-


Steve: Sorry. Rogue Enderman.

Amset-Ra: I thought it was supposed to be Rogue One.

Steve: Anyway, Minecraft is soooo much better than Overwatch. Here's the proof!

He holds up a sales chart for both games, only for a Creeper to blow up in his face. Sir Fangar crawls out from underneath the block.

Sir Fangar: You were saying?

Amset-Ra: Anyway, let's move on to what's important.

The Battle

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! I'm your announcer, Lucy, and today's pushover match is between Lord Vladek and Conductor Charlie!

Amset-Ra: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Lucy?! Are you sure you're not really Camille?

Wyldstyle: I'm not Wyldstyle...


???: I'm Zam Wesell!

Amset-Ra: The Zam Wesell? The first minifigure to sport a two-sided head?

Zam: The one and only. Happy fortieth, all you minifigures!

Amset-Ra: But why Lucy?

Zam: Something to do with The LEGO Movie 2. Also Unikitty's huge, and Metalbeard's tiny.

Amset-Ra: Don't tell me Metalbeard pulled a Groot on us.

Zam: I'm afraid it's true.

The real Wyldstyle enters.

Wyldstyle: Ooh. Shapeshifter. Nice.

Zam morphs into Frenzy and chases Wyldstyle away.

Amset-Ra: Wait! We need you to announce!

Zam: Yeah, okay. I don't think her hair is magical, anyway.

She takes her seat in the announcer's booth.

Amset-Ra: I was calling Wyldstyle, but meh, go ahead.

Zam: Okay, how do we do this... Okay, Lord Vladek is in the Red Corner, I think...

Vladek: I sense someone's not a professional at this.

Zam: Yeah, just bear with me here. And... that's Conductor Charlie in the Blue Corner, right?

Charlie: Why did some one nominate me to fight? I'm just a fifty-something train conductor, okay?

Vladek: More like sixty-something.

Amset-Ra: Now I know where Ogel got his stupidity...

Zam: I don't exactly know what happens next, but I think Tee-Vee's supposed to predict or something now.

Amset-Ra: Nailed it!

Tee-Vee: Prediction:Vladek.

Engineer Max: I hate to say it, but I'm with him.

Charlie: Yeah, could someone step in for me?

Vladek: Methinks you're a coward. Fight like a real minifigure!

Charlie: I am a real minifigure!

Vladek: Then prove it!

Amset-Ra: Now we can start the battle.

Ogel: Wait, I was supposed to predict!

Amset-Ra: Nope, no Ogels here...

Vladek: Let him predict, mortal.

Ogel: I'll go for Lord Vladek.

Charlie: I've been around since the turn of the century, and no one supports me?!

Vladek: It's because of your redesign, and also because you only appear in Christmas train sets. No big deal.

Zam: Okay, do we start the battle now?

Amset-Ra: Yeah, we start now.

Priest of the Tee-Vee: Why are you so flippant of our local deity? Oops, I said "local"... Forgive me, amazing, beautiful, cinematic, diplomatic, etc. Tee-Vee!

Tee-Vee: Status:forgiven.

Priest of the Tee-Vee: Thank you.

Tee-Vee: Battle:start.

Vladek: Shall I end this now? Or shall I toy with you for a little while?

Charlie: I'd rather you just spare me and pick someone else to bug.

Vladek: Ah, but you don't want to disappoint your many fans, do you?


Vladek: See?

Charlie: Since when did I have a fanbase.

Vladek: Since just now, I guess.

Charlie: Construct!

Vladek: Nope! Can't let you do that!


Charlie: Uurgh... stop... Your armor is suffocating me...

Vladek: Do surrender so the pain won't go on.

Charlie: Make me.

Zam: I think Vladek is pulling out a contract.

Vladek: As you can see, I cleverly forged your handwriting, effectively making you surrender the match. Here, random Space Police Officer, check for me.

The officer takes the contract and examines it.

Space Police Officer: This is a genuine signature.

Vladek: You hear that, Chuck? That means you surrender!

Charlie: I say Construct!

Vladek: And I say Triple Axel Drop Kick of Doom!


Charlie: Don't worry, my health is insured!is


Tee-Vee: Ring-out. Winner:Vladek.

Amset-Ra: As expected.

Vladek: I didn't even need that contract.

Amset-Ra: And I do believe you broke the law...

Vladek: What?!

Amset-Ra: ...of physics. You can't really drop kick someone into the air. But I'll let it slide.

Vladek: Phew!

Amset-Ra: Now let's go celebrate with ice cream!

Vladek: Yeah!

As they walk into the nonexistent sunset, the Dieselnaut runs over the camera, ending the transmission.

After the Battle

This section is intentionally left blank.

Amset-Ra: What, really?

Yeah. Now go play some Overwatch while waiting for the 2019 LEGO Overwatch theme.

Amset-Ra: *in CD-i Link's voice* Great!

The Winner
Lord Vladek
Lord Vladek
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

How much did you enjoy Lord Vladek vs. Conductor Charlie?

The poll was created at 01:51 on September 17, 2018, and so far 0 people voted.
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