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This is the thirty-sixth battle of Season 1. I think we can now say without a doubt that Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid was a huge success.
Season 1, Round 1, Battle 31 (36th battle overall)
Written by Commandosaur on June 28, 2015
The Announcer

The Referee

The Predictor

Portal Emperor
The Red Corner
Lord of Air... Lord of Ghosts... Lord of Evil... Lord of Possession... Lord of Fire?

Rank 16; 1-0
Nominated by Surtatb2007
The Green Corner
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS- Wait, he's not a snake?

Nominated by NexoByte
The Yellow Corner
Why didn't Commandosaur vote in this Dinosaur? He should probably thank Punctuation Penguin.

Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Blue Corner
Monster Crab
Monster Crab.PNG
Two beasts in one battle... Which one will win?

Nominated by ArcticSeahorse

Before the Battle

Amset-Ra, Mace Windu, Dr. Inferno, Wyldstyle, Terabyte, Invizable, Ogel and Sir Fangar stand outside on a sand dune.

Amset-Ra: Windy, it was a pleasure having you here. I really look forward to you coming back!

Wyldstyle: Yeah, we all wish you could stay.

Mace Windu: Well, duty calls, and I must return to my own galaxy far, far away in order to prevent evilness from killing everyone.

Terabyte: 75% of the minifigures standing here are evil.


Wyldstyle: Awk-ward...

Mace Windu: Well I should probably be leaving now...

Benny: In my spaceship Spaceship SPACESHIP! From my spaceship Spaceship SPACESHIP company!

Mace Windu: Here's the fee...

Terabyte: What if it's FREE? Get it? Fee, free? Eeeee?

Mace Windu gets into the spaceship, and it begins to fly away. A strange green, yellow, black and purple thing pops up in one of the rear windows, looking back at the minifigures on the ground and waving.

Dr. Inferno: Is that... Frenzy?

Wyldstyle: MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amset-Ra: THE COMEDIC RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ogel: They're getting away with three things at once!

Amset-Ra: No one gave you permission to talk, Ogel!

Sir Fangar: Can we go back into the GLOOOOORIOUS Pyramid now? It is getting much to hot out here under the GLOOOOORIOUS sun. I need to go retrieve some GLOOOOORIOUS ice to cool my GLOOOOORIOUS self.

Amset-Ra: No, we have to wait for the new Security Chief to arrive.

One hour later...

Ogel: Um... Don't kill me, but I think that Sir Fangar melted...

Wyldstyle: They say that having no hair doesn't allow the heat to stick around as much... I don't think it makes any difference...

Terabyte: Circuits=Short circuiting... Tertiary Motherboard=Overheated... 1012th attempt to contact Psyclone=Unsuccessful...

Dr. Inferno: Oh, wait, do you feel that breeze?

Invizable: No.

Dr. Inferno: The Infomaniac is having mercy upon us!

Invizable: No.

Dr. Inferno: Maybe Psyclone came?

Invizable: No.

Dr. Inferno: How do you know?

Invizable: Because of that.

Everyone turns and looks where Invizable is pointing, to see a large black bird-like vehicle descending to the sand dunes. It produces a large gust of wind in front of it.

Terabyte: Analyzation complete. We are currently confronted with a Raven Attacker, the alternate form of the Bridge Walker. Meca One is known to use this ship as a personal mode of fast transportation.

Raven Attacker lands. Meca One steps down from the vehicle.

Amset-Ra: Welcome to the Fighting Rubik's Pyramid of Doom, or something like th-

Meca One: Error. Error. Error. This building defies the laws of physics. Therefore, this building must be destroyed. Signalling all units. Fire on location ZZZ, ###, 4445133345.333445566.


Meca One: Building destroyed. Returning to mountain.

Meca-One leaves.

Amset-Ra: My poor Pyramid! What will Dad say!

Terabyte: The spectators are set to arrive in 1:00. That means it is... The Final Countdown!

Water Pool that Used to be Sir Fangar: My goodness, we have no where to cool down now!

Wyldstyle: Gah! We need to rebuild the pyramid!

Dr. Inferno: There's not enough time!

Ogel: We could go to one of my evil fortresses!

Amset-Ra: Great idea! We'll say that we're going on tour again!

Invizable: Are you feeling okay? You just complimented Ogel's thinking...

Amset-Ra: What I meant to say was that we'll call the Portal Emperor and see if we can use his hotel!

Terabyte: I've got a phone.

Wyldstyle: What type of phone?

Terabyte: It's the LEGO Phone 1.0.

Amset-Ra dials Portal Emperor.

Ring... Ring... Ring...

Portal Emperor: Hello?

Amset-Ra: Hello! Could we have a battle at your place?

Portal Emperor: Sure! We've just re-decorated! Now it's a giant maze of dark, mysterious tunnels, plus a courtyard in front of the portal! Would you like me to send you some photos?

Amset-Ra: We don't have time! Order some food and set up some chairs! 'Cause the fighting pyramid comes tonight!

BEEP... Call Terminated.

Ogel: Why were you singing Christmas tunes when it isn't Christmas?

The Battle

Wyldstyle: Welcome to the Portal to Atlantis Courtyard and Maze, where we will be hosting this edition of Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid Tournament of Minifigures!

Audience: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Since Frenzy stole my hair, I've been trying out some different hairstyles, but for now I'm going to be wearing this black hood.

Audience: BOO!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Since the fighters will be hiding in the maze and we won't be able to see them all from the courtyard, we've brought back some of the old staff to be our eyes on the ground, and we have 4 TV screens set up in front of the portal for you all to watch!

Audience: YAY!!!!!! TEE-VEE!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Believe it or not, Tee-Vee IS one of our reporters today!

Audience: YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: We would also like to welcome back the Fierce Flame, a fiery female superhero who helped us to survive Psyclone's wind bombs!

Audience: Thank you!

Fierce Flame: No problem! I just want to say what an honour it is to meet you, Wyldstyle! You're my favourite minifigure ever!

Amset-Ra: Excuse me? I'm standing right here! You don't have to lie!

Wyldstyle: Aww, your so nice Fierce Flame! Next is Dr. McScrubs!


Portal Emperor: Doctor, we have a protective bubble specifically to keep the water out...

Dr. McScrubs: But it also keeps the parasitical infections, broken bones and GERMS in!

Wyldstyle: We're lucky that Achu isn't here... Just before I go wash my hands, we have Pythor the ssssssslithering sssssssnake!

Pythor: That issssss not how I talk, you foolissssssssh announsssssser. Okay, maybe that'sssss a little like how I talk.

Wyldstyle rushes back from the sink.

Wyldstyle: Now it's time to meet our FIGHTERS!!!!!


Wyldstyle: In the Red corner of Shark Keys is Morro, the elemental master of air!

Morro: I am the master of much more than air.

Terabyte: Did you know that sharks say meow?

Sharks: Meow.

SharX: Meow.

Morro: I did not know that. Did you know that I don't care?

Wyldstyle: In the Blue Corner of Squid Keys is Snake, a 7-eyed alien criminal!

Audience: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Invizable: When the audience cheers for a criminal you know something is wrong.

Terabyte: Snake, what is the thing in your stomach?

Snake: You'll just have to wait and see.

Terabyte: Then wait and see I will...

Wyldstyle: Next up, in the Yellow Corner of Turtle Keys, is a creature from Ninjago's dark and doomy past, the gargantuan Grundalychus...

Audience: OOH!!!!!!!!!!

Grundal: Jingle Bells... Jingle Bells... Jingle... All the way... Oh what fun... It is to ride... In an all horse eaten sleigh...

Portal Emperor: A very nice rendition!

Grundal: I ate Dasher... and Dancer... and Prancer... and Vixen... and Comet... and Cupid... and Donner... and Blitzen... But do you recall... That I ate the most famous reindeer of all?

Audience: GASP!

Wyldstyle: On a more cheery note, in the Green Corner of Manta Ray Keys is the Monster Crab!

Audience: OOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Since the Crab can't talk, we've decided to ask the Portal Emperor to tell us a little bit about taking care of a Monster Crab.

Portal Emperor: Well. the Monster Crab needs 3 litres of crackers per day, and it likes to play with Fireworks, which doesn't work very well under the water. Also, don't let him get near any gates! Especially those ones over there that hold up the entire building!

Wyldstyle: After that definitely not foreshadowing moment, it's time to begin the battle! Fierce Flame is assigned to follow Morro, Pythor will be following Snake, Tee-Vee will record the happenings of the Grundal, and Dr. McScrubs will follow the Monster Crab.

Pythor: I have a feeling it issssssss not a coinsssssssidensssssse that the sssssssssssnake is following Ssssssssssnake.

Amset-Ra: What about the awards?

Wyldstyle: Well, we left Sir Pondar back at the fighting pyramid with Ogel and Dr. Inferno...

Squidman: Don't worry! I have the awards right here!

Amset-Ra: What!?!?!?!?!?!? How'd you get those?!?!?!?!? I made sure they were in the most impenetrable safe I owned!!!!!

Squidman: Umm... It was openish... Like, the lock wasn't fully closed all the way with glue and tape and everything so I just um... Made a key and well... The point is the awards are here now, right?!

Amset-Ra: I guess you're right. Read them out for us!

Squidman: Ooh, goody! Alright, the User of the Week is Punctuation Penguin! And it says here that I'm the Minifigure of the Week!

Wyldstyle: Great! Now for our prediction, we're going to ask the Portal Emperor!

Portal Emperor: It's definitely the Monster Crab. First, he's from Atlantis, and I trained him myself. Secondly, if he gets access to the Orange Crab Key.... Well, let's just say that the other fighters do NOT want that happening.

Wyldstyle: Great! Vizzie?

Invizable: Fight!

Grundal: Search... The halls for tasty prey... NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM, NOMNOMNOMNOM. 'Tis... The season to go hunting... NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM, NOMNOMNOMNOM.

Wyldstyle: That Grundal is so loud when singing that we can hear him all the way over here in the courtyard!

Red Mic Start

Fierce Flame: I'm currently here trailing the wild Morro... As you can see, his ability to blend in with the shadows is proving quite useful. We have yet to see his powers of wind in this battle, but we can be sure they're coming...

Morro: Oh, do be quiet.


Red Mic End

Wyldstyle: Morro has just possessed our reporter, Fierce Flame! I wonder how our other reporters are fairing...

Green Mic Start

Dr. McScrubs: Come back and wash your hands, Crab! You can't go into battle all dirty like this! You might catch a cold!

Green Mic End

Wyldstyle: I had a cold once. That wasn't fun.

Invizable: More fun than losing your hair though.

Wyldstyle: Yep.

Blue Mic Start

Pythor: Ssssssssnake issssssss currently building a motorcycle out of ssssssssseassssssssshellsssssssssss. I think he issssss doing thisssssss jusssssst to make me sssssssay the letter sssssssss a lot, becausssssssse there issssss not enough sssssssspace for him to ride his motorcycle in here.

Snake: Oh... Right... Oops... Better safe than sorry, though!

Snake picks up his motorcycle and begins to trudge down through the tunnels.

Blue Mic End 

Wyldstyle: We are afraid that we must inform you that we have lost our connection with Morro and the Fierce Flame.

Yellow Mic Start

Grundal: Oh come... all ye tasty... I'm morbid... and triumphant....

Yellow Mic End/Green Mic Start


Dr. McScrubs: That's bad for your throat! I'm going to have to prescribe you some more pills!

Green Mic End

Wyldstyle: Doctor, could you give us a report on what Monster Crab is doing at the moment?

Green Mic Start

Dr. McScrubs: Be wary! Monster Crab is currently scuttling down one of the tunnels while killing his vocal chords!

Green Mic End

Audience: GASP!

Wyldstyle: We're still waiting for another sighting of Morro. Let's be certain to remember that the other fighters don't know that the Fierce Flame has been possessed yet.

Blue Mic Start

Snake: What was that? I couldn't quite here you...

Pythor: Sssssssssshe didn't ssssssssay anything important. Return to your fighting.

Blue Mic End

Wyldstyle: We've just received an alert from Tee-Vee! Let's go check in with him and the Grundal...

Yellow Mic Start

Tee-Vee: ERROR. Fighter:Grundalychus (ate:Tee-Vee [PrimaryMotor]). Process:Movement = Suspended (True/False) = True.

Yellow Mic End

Terabyte: Translation: The Grundalychus ate Tee-Vee's legs; therefore Tee-Vee can no longer move and follow the Grundalychus.

Audience: NOOOOOO!!!!!!! POOR Tee-Vee!

Terabyte: I guess you could say that the Grundal is Terribly Vicious! Get it? T-V?


Green Mic Start


Dr. McScrubs continues running away from the Monster Crab who is chasing after him with great haste. Suddenly, upon turning a corner, Dr. McScrubs sees a red figure.

Dr. McScrubs: Oh, Fierce Flame, it's great to see you again! HELP! There's a giant crab chasing me!


Green Mic End

Wyldstyle: A gust of fiery wind has fried Dr. McScrubs. We're trying to send in a medical team right now...

Green Mic Start

Fierce Flame: No medical team will ever reach him... Not if I send him to the realm of ghosts!

Vosoma khan neggos villificus saul hivros... VROOOOOOOOOOOOCK!

Green Mic End

Wyldstyle: Morro, in the Fierce Flame's body, has somehow sent Dr. McScrubs up to the Cursed Realm! On the plus side, everyone up there will be much healthier now.

Green Mic Start

Fierce Flame: Now, time to take down this Monster Crab.

Glint... Shine...

Monster Crab: CrCztsk? Krcktrpck!

Scutter scutter scutter...

Fierce Flame: Where are you going, fool?

Green Mic End

Portal Emperor: Gah! He's going to get the Orange Crab Key!

Terabyte: Why would you leave it in there?

Wyldstyle: Better question, what does it do?!?!?!?

Portal Emperor: Bad things...

Terabyte: I still think my question is valid.

Green Mic Start

Fierce Flame: Well then, I guess we can't let you touch that key, can we?


Green Mic End

Wyldstyle: Morro has just used his wind powers to grab the key, and is now running with it to lure the crab in his direction!

Blue Mic Start

Snake: I'll find you! At least, I'll find one of you!

Pythor: Thisssssss issssss ssssssuch a bad idea...

Grundal: Silent night... Holy night... All is calm... All is in fright!

Pythor: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Grundal came up out of nowhere!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snake: Motorcycle-Punch! Yaaaaar!

Grundal: Ooph... Grr... Strike the snake... and join the chorus! YARHARYARHARYAR, YARYARYARYAR!


Pythor: Aahh! A nifty dodge by Ssssssssnake, but the Grundal nearly hit me!

Blue Mic End

Wyldstyle: There weren't many S's in that sentence.

Blue Mic Start

Pythor: Let'ssssss keep it that way!

Boom, craaaaack, smack!

Grundal: Good King Wenceslas... Looked out... On the Feast... Of Stephen... When the Snake... Lay round about... Dead and mangled and tasty;

Pythor: Which sssssssnake? The one you jusssssssst threw into a wall or me?

Grundal: Bring me flesh... and bring me drink... bring me carrion hither... thou and he... on you I'll dine... when one... bears them thither. 

Snake: Groan... That wall really hurt...

Grundal: Hark! The herald angels sing... Glory to... The new-dead snake...

Pythor: Thisssssss isssssss deeply unssssssssssettling...

Crash crash tumble, person turns corner...

Fierce Flame: Yes! Follow me, Crab! Follow me to the gates!

Blue Mic End

Wyldstyle: Didn't you say NOT to let the Crab near the gates?

Portal Emperor: Yes... Oh, why must this be happening?! We just remodelled!


Wyldstyle: There go the gates!

Terabyte: Structural integrity is greatly decreased... The maze will begin collapsing in 5... 4... 3...

Amset-Ra: I think I can hear the fighters from over here...

Terabyte: 2...1... Collapse!

Distant voices...

Pythor: Where issss the exssssit! HELP!!!!!

Snake: I knew this motorcycle would come in handy!

Grundal: Run... they told me... pa rum pum pum pum... A new... fallen wall to flee... pa rum pum pum pum... Our finest... fight we bring... pa rum pum pum pum... To flee... before our death... pa rum pum pum pum... rum pum pum pum... rum pum pum pum...

Monster Crab: CRCTZKT!

Fierce Flame: Oh no you don't! I'm not giving up this Key! My goodness, you are strong!


Fierce Flame: Well... That didn't work like I had planned...

Portal Emperor: Oh no...

Wyldstyle: Now's the moment of truth!


Terabyte: Crab size is increased exponentially!


Wyldstyle: Have any of our fighters survived that?!

Fierce Flame: Be wary of assuming my death so easily. Wind is a powerful ally.

Monster Crab: MCKPTCK.

Wyldstyle: Monster Crab is much too large to be crushed. Are these the only survivors?

Heave! Smash!

Snake: Yar! I am here!

Wyldstyle: Snake used his motorcycle as a shield from the falling debris! Where's the Grundalychus?

Grundal: Have yourself... a merry little battle... Let your heart... be light... From now on your Grundal... will be out of sight...

Invizable: Grundal is eliminated!

Terabyte: We managed to lose all of our reporters in there.

Audience: TEE-VEE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Amset-Ra: We'll have a moment of silence later. For now, battle!


Fierce Flame: Wind gust!


Wyldstyle: Morro used his strongest wind gust on the Giant Monster Crab, but it had absolutely no effect! Moment of silence time!

Cricket Cricket...

Wyldstyle: Now back to the battle!

Snake: Motorcycle bomb!

Vroom! Vwoosh! Smash! KA-BOOM! CRASH!

Wyldstyle: Snake hurtled his motorcycle towards the Giant Monster Crab, and Morro used his wind powers to accelerate it into the Crab's vulnerable underbelly. Then, Morro sent a burst of Fierce Flame's fire into the motorcycle, causing it to explode and defeat the Giant Monster Crab, who shrunk back down to normal size.

Invizable: Monster Crab is eliminated!

Portal Emperor: Oh, I was wrong. That's unfortunate.

Snake: Thanks for the help there, Fierce Flame! Now, we need to find Morro...

Fierce Flame: It's too late for that. I've already found you.

Snake: GASP! Not the colour talking! I should have known!

Fierce Flame: Oh, but you didn't. And now it's too late!


Snake: Ahh!!!

Fierce Flame: Be gone, alien! Return whence thou came!

Vosoma khan neggos villificus saul hivros... VROOOOOOOOOOOOCK!

Wyldstyle: I don't think that Snake came from the Cursed Realm... But he's definitely there now!

Invizable: Snake has been eliminated! Morro is the winner! Could you please return Fierce Flame to us, though?

Morro: No. It's way too much fun shooting fire at people.

Portal Emperor: Well, if you don't mind, we should wrap things up here so that I can rebuild this place again.

Wyldstyle: Sure! Don't forget to come back next week for what will be the final battle of the Second Half, one way or another! After that, Round 2 is just around the corner! Hey Vizzie, shouldn't you be practising for your Season Championship?

Invizable: I always practice. But yes, you're right.

Wyldstyle: Alright. We'll find a new referee for the next battle. Until then everyone, have fun! And if you see my hair, GIVE IT BACK TO ME!

After the Battle

Ring Ring Ring...

Amset-Ra picks up his phone

Amset-Ra: Hello?

Pharaoh Hotep: Son, would you mind explaining why you left three of your staff out in the middle of a desert with no supplies and told them to rebuild a pyramid that should never have been destroyed in the first place?

Amset-Ra: ...

BEEP... Call Terminated.

Amset-Ra: Uh-oh...


Hair Stylist: How about this hair?

Wyldstyle: No, it's not quite good enough.

Hair Stylist: Hmm... Alright, I'm going to go look for some other hair styles back behind. You just wait right here.

Hair Stylist leaves. Fierce Flame walks in.

Wyldstyle: Oh, hey Flame.

Fierce Flame: You are mistaken. I am Morro.

Wyldstyle: Oh. Right. Why are you here then?

Fierce Flame: I can get you your hair back.

Wyldstyle: Yes! YES! What do you want in return?

Fierce Flame: Your eternal and unconditional servitude, starting with assistance in the fighting pyramid.

Wyldstyle: Uh... Well, it's worth it!

Fierce Flame: You mean "It's worth it, great Morro. I am eternally grateful".

Wyldstyle: Yeah, that. HAIR!!!!!!!!

End Transmission

The Winner
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.